


Little White Dress

by roseannedarcy



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Babies, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Literary References & Allusions, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-05-13 02:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5691649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseannedarcy/pseuds/roseannedarcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth Greene's life is far from perfect. With her family's never ending over-care and ghosts of her past suffocating her, she decides she needs an escape. And Daryl Dixon will give her just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brief Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Well hello everyone!_  
>  _I'm sorry for disappearing for a whole week. A lot has happened, and I had to deal with tons of stuff, so I genuinely didn't have time or strength to write anything. And I know many of you (at least I hope so) are expecting the ending of_["Ghost"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5571855/chapters/12844473), and I have written half of the last chapter, and I promise I will update it soon, but.  
>  _I just really needed to write this. This idea was haunting me, and I have no clue where this will be going, but I just sort of want to write it._  
>  _I honestly don't know what this is, but I hope you enjoy it because I loved writing it._  
>  _Please remember to comment!_

 

 **Chapter 1** \- Brief Encounter

 

It takes Beth less than a few minutes to realise she is not going to enjoy it. Any of it.

It seems like a lifetime ago when she actually liked public gatherings, with people chatting, laughing, and giving each other tight hugs. She used to be happy when surrounded by people but now she feels uncomfortable. And she shouldn't, because it's her graduation day, and there is a good chance she might never see these people again.

She just wishes she could bring herself to care.

She doesn't dislike them, it's just that she doesn't know them, and they don't know her. Not anymore. Not since she closed off from everyone after her mother's and Shawn's deaths.

It is hotter than sin in the open of the school football stadium, and Beth can't wait to get out of the long gown of a deep navy blue colour. Who has come up with the idea of graduation day being held in June anyway? The heat is so intense she can feel makeup beginning to layer off of her face with sweat, and ignoring the warm sickness in her belly that usually forebodes fainting is getting harder with every second.

The principal sweats her way through the most generic farewell address, which adds to Beth's tiresome of the whole process, and then it's almost over.

As everyone stands up and throws their graduation caps up in the air, Beth does the same. She forces a smile, but only because she is a good girl. That's what good girls are supposed to do. Pretend they are happy when deep inside they are sad.

Beth leaves the crowd filled with noises and happy laughter to find her family. She notices her daddy, Maggie, and even Otis and Patricia, waiting for her, standing a bit away from everyone, in their own secluded little circle. Maggie is telling them something, gesticulating actively, and everyone else is listening to her, watching her face with genuine attention.

Beth smiles, looking at them. She loves her family.

As she almost approaches them, Patricia, who has Beth in her line of sight, gives her a bright smile and a friendly wave.

"I'm so proud of you, doodlebug," daddy says, giving her one-armed hug, and Beth smiles softly in return. "Come on, let's go celebrate."

Beth gives the crowd one final look and, taking off her gown, gets in the car.

She watches the disappearing _Starr's Mill High School_ sign from the window, while Maggie chatters away about things she usually like to talk. College, Glenn, life. Beth absently listens to her but her mind is concentrated on a sudden feeling of emptiness that is residing in her chest, and she doesn't even notice that her thumb has pushed away the bracelet on her left wrist and is now circling pale white scar that always remains hidden from everyone's sight.

She knows she is smart, she will go to college, find a job, and in general do well in life. She is told that more than often. But she has to admit that she is afraid of… life, to be frank. The only friends she had, gave up on her when she shut them out, and she can't help but think that maybe there will never be anyone who will care enough to fight for her. To refuse to let her go.

Beth has her family, and she loves them to pieces, but she needs a friend. Someone who won't judge her or treat her like glass. They do it because they love her and don't want to lose her, but Beth is tired.

She suddenly imagines doing something wild and impulsive, like running off into the night with a friend, going to a nightclub and returning home at four in the morning. Climbing out of the window to disappear somewhere in the woods, swim in the river naked, after getting undressed via drinking game. She wants to be reckless, feel adrenalin pump through her veins. She wants to _feel_. She wants to do something she will never tell anyone about, and just that one person will know. The friend she will probably never have.

"Beth?" she hears Maggie's voice that has previously just served as a background. Now it sounds annoyed, and Beth doesn't hesitate to give her sister a smile. "Are you even listening to me?" she asks, folding her arms.

"Sorry, I must have gotten distracted."

There must be something unusual in a way she says it (or the opposite, actually), because Maggie's eyes soften.

"Are you okay, Bethy?" she asks with that tone that irritates Beth more than anything. _Concern._

"Yes, I'm great," Beth states and tries her best to force a convincing smile, knowing that Maggie won't leave her alone unless she is sure Beth is fine.

She must be doing well because Maggie decides to let it go and just lets out a heavy sigh, turning her head to look out the window as they drive up to the diner. It was Beth's idea: to just have a quiet family dinner at the local diner, without any major celebrations. She doesn't feel all that great about leaving school (or about that day in general for that matter), so there is no reason to celebrate really.

It's when she sits down at the booth in the diner when she realises that her hands are still clutching to the graduation cap. It suddenly feels like she needs air, even though it is probably much cooler inside (thank God for air conditioning).

"I'll just take this back to the car," she tells her daddy quietly and leaves the diner.

Their car is parked a little further into the parking lot, away from the windows, which she is grateful for because that means that Maggie or daddy can't see her when she takes a seat, leaving the door open and throwing her head back to try and breathe deeply. She always feels shitty about preferring solitude to the company of her family, but no matter how hard she tries, she can't help it. It's just that sometimes it feels like their protectiveness and care just start crashing down on her to the point when she just can't breathe.

She decides to spend a few minutes here and then go back because if she doesn't return soon, they will start getting worried, and she doesn't need that. She doesn't need any more concerned looks.

Beth remains in her position until she hears someone stride past the car, at some distance, heading further into the parking lot. Her eyes fly open and she turns her head to look.

It doesn't take Beth longer than a second to recognise him. Everyone in Senoia knows Daryl Dixon, which is mainly because of his family's reputation. They are sort of famous in their small town, but definitely not in a good way. Merle is never around anymore, and on multiple occasions Beth has heard rumours that he is in fact locked up in jail. No one knows what he has done, so everyone just presumes it was for drug dealing or something of the sort. Beth and her mom used to run into him at the grocery store (occasionally, thank God), and he always managed to make some inappropriate comments, mainly directed at Annette. It annoyed Beth, but mom never did anything about it, just grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the man. Beth never liked Merle, he is definitely not the kind of person you can trust or even be friendly with. She hasn't seen him in years, and she can't say she misses him.

It's different with Daryl, though. He is always quiet, and when Merle was here, he would just stand behind his back, never saying a word, keeping to himself. He works at the garage in town, situated across the street from the diner, and not once has she heard him say something nasty to anyone. Or was told by someone that he said it. It is always more like people mentioning him in the context of criticising his brother, which in their mind _must_ mean he is "just the same". And if anything, Beth knows what it's like – being judged by what family you come from.

So, when she notices that he has dropped his red rag that she usually saw hanging from the back pocket of his jeans, she climbs out of the car and picks it up. He is walking away, and she freezes for a second, not sure what to do. Follow him? Call after him? She doesn't want to seem weird or creepy.

"Daryl?" she says, and it doesn't come out too loud, which she is happy for. But he does hear it.

Daryl freezes for a second, as if unsure that she has actually spoken to him, and then turns around to face her. He looks at Beth with a scornful look on his face, and it takes her all courage in the world to stop herself from squirming. He looks very intimidating, but she knows she has no right to treat him anything less than politely. The look on Daryl's face, however, tells her that he is probably expecting from her just that – that she will say something terrible to him, offend him or something. She is sure people do that a lot in their small town where nothing ever happens.

She suddenly finds herself noticing how big and impressively strong he looks, with his toned arms showing because of the sleeveless shirt and a leather vest he is wearing. His skin is dark and tanned, glistening with sweat, his jeans ripped and covered in oil stains. There is a thought at the back of her mind that has her wondering how he sees her. She must look awful right now, with her face glistening with oily sweat and ruined makeup, her short white dress creased after a long graduation ceremony, her hair in a complete mess.

Beth realises she is staring, and that he is staring right back.

"You've dropped this," she says, after clearing her throat, and takes a few steps closer to hand him the rag. Daryl takes it, their fingers not touching, and Beth suspects he made sure of that. Beth decides not to concentrate on it, since he gives her another long stare. "I'm Beth," she suddenly remembers her manners and holds her hand out. He shakes it, his hand hot and a little sweaty, and he is looking hesitant and almost shy or even self-conscious.

"I know," Daryl says unexpectedly after their hands fall apart. His voice is low and gruff, but quiet, and it sends shivers down her spine.

"Really?" she asks and gives him a smile. The first genuine smile today. "We've never spoken before."

"Small town."

Her smile grows wider, and he looks down, putting the rag away in his back pocket. Beth can feel him looking at her feet, and suddenly she is glad that she has done her toenails last night. She has let Maggie convince her into painting them with powder blue nail polish (Maggie said it would match the colour of her eyes). Her nails were also done in the same shade of blue.

"I just graduated a few hours ago," Beth says, which surprises her even more than it probably surprises him. She doesn't know why but she feels the need to continue their conversation, hold on to it for as long as possible. But then, she remembers his circumstances and feels extremely rude. Well, what she knows of his circumstances. And all she has is that he is in his late twenties because he has dropped out of high school years ago, maybe even before she started school herself. He seems tense, and she decides to say something else. "Daddy took us to the diner to have a small family celebration. Sort of," she adds.

"Why ain't you there?"

"What?"

"Why are you here then?" Daryl repeats.

Beth freezes. She has no idea what to say to that. Right now, lying seems like sacrilege, and she doesn't even know why. So she decides to tell the truth.

"Just needed a minute for myself. My family is great, but sometimes they can be very pushy."

Beth suddenly realises what he must think of her. Spoiled brat who doesn't appreciate what she has. Beth knows Daryl had a hard life. She was too young to remember, but Maggie told her that his mother used to be seen in town, sporting bruises all over her body. She tried to cover them with makeup and always wore long skirts, but people knew. Will Dixon was beating the crap out of his wife. Beth finds herself hoping that Daryl hasn't been his target.

But when she looks him in the eyes, she doesn't see any judgement there, and she can't help but sigh with relief. She doesn't question why his opinion is suddenly so important to her.

Daryl glances back to his bike that is parked a few feet away, and Beth offers him another smile.

"I should probably go," she says, sparing him the embarrassment. Beth takes a step back, still holding his gaze. "It was nice to meet you, Daryl."

He gives her a slight nod, and it's enough for her. She spins away and heads to the diner after shutting the door of her daddy's car.

Beth spends a few minutes reassuring daddy and Maggie that she is fine and chooses what to order. As she sits next to Maggie and eats her fries, it suddenly occurs to her that although she has no idea what she finds so appealing about Daryl Dixon, she definitely wants to see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Love, Kate xxx


	2. Conscience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I can update! :)  
> Seriously though, I'm sorry for pausing this story for a week, I just felt like I needed to think about it, so that I don't end up writing some generic rubbish. I probably have written generic rubbish anyway, but hey! Why not?  
> Hope you enjoy it, I loved writing this.

**Chapter 2** \- Conscience

 

Beth doesn't need to turn her head – she feels Mrs. Harris' eyes on the back of her head perfectly well. She has no idea what she's ever done to that woman to cause such hatred. She used to be best friends with her daughter – Lexi-Marie – in elementary, middle, and halfway through high school; it was her family's tragedy that brought their friendship to an end. It always seemed like they were still on good terms though – Lexi-Marie has become sort of a Queen Bee in their school, but benevolent one, so Beth didn't mind her at all. Lexi-Marie's mother is the problem though. Sunday services feel like torture because of her constant stares and comments afterwards. (Beth was actually happy when their family went skiing once and she didn't see them at church that week. It has been a bliss.)

No matter how hard she tries, she is not able to concentrate and listen today.

When the service is over, she gets up and prays for daddy and Maggie to move quicker, so that they leave before Mrs. Harris gets a chance to make one of her arsenic comments about Beth.

She fails, of course.

As they are about to leave the church, the woman comes up and gives daddy a fake all-sugary smile.

"Jennifer. How are you?" daddy asks politely, and Beth and Maggie exchange a look at that.

"Good, Hershel, thank you," Mrs. Harris says, and Beth looks at Lexi-Marie, standing behind her, with a book of prayers in her hands. They smile at each other, and Lexi-Marie rolls her eyes a little bit at her mother. "Was just wondering where children have learned to show so much flesh. Back in our time, girls have been much more modest."

Beth doesn't even doubt that the woman is talking about her and thinks of the dress she is wearing at the moment. It has a neckline a little lower than what she would usually prefer, but she still finds it absolutely decent. She looks back at Lexi-Marie, whose skirt merely covers her backside, and smiles to her, arching her eyebrows.

"Yes," Maggie nods suddenly, all-polite about it, "it's a shame Victorian dresses are not in fashion anymore."

Mrs. Harris opens her mouth to say something (probably something _very unkind_ towards Maggie), but Beth interrupts her before she gets the chance.

"It was so nice seeing you, Mrs. Harris. Hope you have a wonderful day," she says and grabs her father's arm. "Lexi-Marie," she smiles as a greeting and pulls on her daddy. They leave, followed by Maggie.

As Beth gets in the car, she feels her phone buzz and looks at the screen. _Don't listen to the witch. Gorgeous dress!_

Beth smiles at that and buckles herself in. Lexi-Marie has always had a _complicated_ relationship with her mother (to say the least). Beth remembers clearly covering for her more than once in their sophomore year, when Lexi-Marie would spend a night at her boyfriend's place. Or bring her more sophisticated clothes so that she could change in the school bathroom, if her mother was feeling especially tyrannical that day. Mrs. Harris is never happy with her daughter; in her opinion, Lexi-Marie is too loud, not serious enough, eats too much chocolate, and that all is completely Beth's fault and bad influence. (Never mind that they don't even speak that much anymore.) By now, Mrs. Harris has probably lost a great deal of her say over Lexi-Marie actions, so she probably does what she wants. (Judging by her look this morning.)

Beth decides not to think about it too much and instead watch the view from the window. The view she has seen a thousand times, but never thinks of it as any less beautiful.

* * *

Beth gets an odd email later that evening, saying that she has been invited to an event on Facebook. She can't remember when was the last time she actually logged in, but she does it anyway, remembering her details perfectly well. She would probably like to think that an invitation to Lexi-Marie's, quote, _End of School_ party doesn't surprise her, but it does.

She picks up her phone.

"Hey, Beth! What's up?" she hears her ex-best-friend's cheerful voice.

"Hi, um…" she doesn't know how to say it without sounding pathetic… or just sad. "What's with the party?"

"Oh, you got that. Good," Beth hears some noises in the background, and it sounds like cars. Is she on a highway or something? "Well, I just thought, why not? We probably won't see each other in years, so… I've invited most of the people from our year."

"Yeah, but why me? We haven't spoken in ages."

"I don't know… I've never had a problem with you, if that's what you're thinking. I mean, my mom is definitely being a bitch, but I sort of like you, and we used to be best friends, so why not?" she repeats and then adds quickly. "You don't have to come if you don't want to. Or of it's too much. I'll understand."

Beth smiles at her words. Lexi-Marie is the biggest rambler in the world, and it can be annoying from time to time, but right now, it's kind of sweet.

"What about your mom? Is she okay with me being there?" Beth gets up and starts walking downstairs, suddenly feeling extremely thirsty.

"Are you kidding me! She would be devastated! If she were to know I was having a party," Lexi-Marie giggles. "She is visiting John, and I thought I might as well make the best of it."

It's not a secret to anyone with even basic observational skills that John, Lexi-Marie's brother, is their mother's favourite. He refuses to return to Senoia – ever, which Beth doesn't understand _at all_ , but she figures it's not her place to judge – so Mrs. Harris has to visit her son in Atlanta from time to time.

Beth walks into the kitchen and sees Maggie sitting at the table, reading a thick-looking book, a cup of tea next to her.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Beth rolls her eyes and shakes her head slightly when Maggie gives her a questioning look. She gets herself a glass of water.

"Does that mean you're coming?" counters Lexi-Marie.

"I might do," Beth shrugs, as if she can see it, and hears a loud and delighted squeal.

"Yay! Can't wait. Make sure you wear something hot," Beth rolls her eyes again, suddenly remembering their hours-long conversations back in high school, and realises how much she actually misses them. Misses being her friend. She hears honking in the background, confirming her guess about highway. "Have to go. See you tomorrow night," says Lexi-Marie and disconnects.

Beth puts her phone on the counter and opens the fridge, looking for a snack. She is waiting for Maggie's questions, and she is right. It doesn't take long.

"What was that about?" Maggie asks, taking a small sip of her tea.

"Lexi-Marie invited me to her party," Beth says. She doesn't want to lie. She's tired of that.

Maggie looks at her carefully, and her lips curve in a small smile.

"Are you going?" Beth both nods and shrugs at that, and Maggie's smile grows wider as she snorts. "Good luck convincing daddy."

Beth's eyes widen at that and she quickly shuts the fridge, taking a seat across from Maggie.

"You are not even going to stop me?" she asks.

"Why would I?" Maggie says, and when Beth gives her a look with her eyebrow arched, she sighs. "Yes, I may have been a little overprotective, but I think this can be good for you. You've missed out a lot. You deserve to have some fun."

Beth is honestly startled by that. She did not expect that kind of response at all. It's _Maggie_ , after all…

"Can you help me convince daddy then?" she decides to take her chance.

"How?"

"I don't know…" Beth shrugs. "You're the expert. It's you who used to sneak out to see Glenn, not me."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Pretend to be you for an evening?" Maggie asks, staring at Beth incredulously.

"No, just…" she thinks about it for a moment. "Daddy will let me go if he knows you're with me. Can you just say you're coming and go on a date with Glenn instead?"

Maggie stays silent for a minute, and Beth is already expecting her to say no, when she speaks again.

"Fine. But if something goes wrong, and daddy finds out, I'm not going to be the scapegoat."

"Of course," Beth nods, grabbing the opportunity without arguing. "But I might need a ride…" she adds.

"Beth!" Maggie exclaims.

"What? You don't want some random people from my school to come and get me, do you?"

Maggie stares at her tea cup and takes one more sip.

"Fine," she says again. "What are you going to wear?"

* * *

Everything goes as planned. Daddy allows Beth to go only under Maggie's supervision, and Beth almost feels bad for lying to him.

Almost.

She is just tired of living locked up on the farm. Horse riding and reading and staring at the sky can be fun, but not seven days a week. She needs to spend some time away from home, have _fun_ somewhere else.

Beth leaves the house with a thick layer of makeup covering her face, wearing a cute but modest floral dress that daddy doesn't have a problem with.

She gets changed in the pickup though. Puts on the clothes that Maggie let her borrow, the sort of clothes Beth imagines Maggie wears when she goes clubbing in Atlanta. It's dark blue skin-tight jeans and a shimmery silvery-ish top. She might have spent an hour with a curling iron in her hand, trying not to burn her fingers off, as she made sure her hair actually looked presentable for once.

Frankly, the party isn't something Beth expected. Lexi-Marie gives her a firm hug as soon as she sees her, saying it's "about time" she started going to the parties.

Beth doesn't like it though. It's too loud, too crowdy, there is too much drinking going on, too much of… everything. She honestly tries her best to stay as long as possible, but gives up after two hours. She needs some air. Desperately.

Maggie promised to pick her up at midnight, but it's only eleven, and she doesn't want to interrupt her and Glenn's date, so she just walks. Lexi-Marie lives at the other side of Senoia, but not too far off, and Beth just keeps walking until she sees the main street.

Everything is quiet and dark, only diner's large and wide windows lit up. And Beth suddenly feels like having some coffee.

She walks in, and it's empty – not a single client. She takes a seat at the booth in the corner and waits for the waitress to come. When she is halfway through her cup of coffee, she hears the bell ding, announcing a visitor. Beth almost gasps when she sees that it's Daryl Dixon.

He doesn't notice her and just heads to the other end, taking a seat in a symmetrically positioned corner-booth. Beth smiles as he orders a cup of coffee too, and doesn't hesitate. She walks across the diner and gives him a smile, sitting down across from him in his booth.

Daryl seems startled.

"Hi," she says, hoping she doesn't sound stupid. Or that he is actually able to recognise her because she has never looked like this. Ever.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, and her smile grows wider.

"Same as you. Drinking coffee," and she takes a sip from her cup, trying her best to pretend he is not staring at her with his eyes wide. As if he is surprised that she is _actually_ talking to him.

He doesn't say anything and looks away, eyeing empty streets on the other side of the window.

Beth doesn't say anything either. If he wants to stay quiet, she is fine with that. She knows he doesn't like to talk much – he must not because he is known as the quiet one among his family.

"You look… different," Daryl suddenly says, and she looks back to him.

"Yeah…" she trails, deciding to take it as a compliment. Sort of. "This isn't really like me, is it?" Beth asks, not expecting him to answer. But he gives her a nod, and she smiles softly. "I was at a party. It was 'end of school' celebration of the sort."

"You ain't there," he says, simply stating the obvious, but that sounds so familiar.

"No, I'm not," she agrees and feels the need to explain. "Just felt stuffy in there, you know?" she says, her last words more of a polite way of leading the conversation, but he nods, and again, she did not expect that.

"I do."

"I'm honestly not that lame… Although, I haven't done much partying over the high school years, it's just… I feel like… I feel alone in places like that. Like alone-in-the-crowd sort of thing," she pauses. "Do you know what I mean?"

Beth just hopes he does because otherwise she probably sounds odd.

He nods again. "Yeah."

They don't speak for a few minutes, just look at each other. Look, but not stare, not searching something in each other's eyes, taking each other in rather.

"What are you doing here so late, Daryl Dixon?" Beth asks with a smile, finishing off her coffee.

"Just stayed behind at work," Daryl says and shrugs. "Don't got nowhere else to be."

"I guess I can relate to that," she lets out a quiet – almost silent – chuckle. She suddenly feels like she's just talking about herself, but then he counters that.

"Why?" he asks, looking at her carefully, observing, as if she is some sort of painting that needs a close look so that the tiny little details become visible. She thinks about it, but he interprets her silence differently. "You don't have to…"

"No, it's fine," Beth says and gives him another smile. "It's just this thing about families. How you love them, and they love you, but sometimes their love suffocates you," she pauses, and he stays quiet, letting her finish her thought. "It's similar with small towns like Senoia," she says. "Reminds me of Maycomb from _To Kill a Mockingbird_."

"Haven't read that," honestly says Daryl, and Beth notices some discomfort in his features. Like he is ashamed of it.

"It's a great book. Not boring at all," she gives him a small smile. "You should give it a try," she pauses, trying to return into her previous train of thought. "It's just… a town like this… It's so small everyone knows everything that happens, and you'd think that it should bring people closer to each other, create some sort of community, but it just gets out of hand and makes them meaner. Like they think they know you better than you know yourself. What's best for you, also. If that makes sense."

Daryl doesn't say anything, but Beth doesn't feel offended. She knows he listened to every word she said. She doesn't know why she is sure of it, but she just knows. Feels like he actually cares about what she has to say. And he probably has no idea how refreshing that is.

She looks at her phone.

"It's almost midnight. I should probably call Maggie, so that she can pick me up," Beth leaves a five-dollar note on the table and gets up. "It was nice talking to you, Daryl Dixon."

And with that, she walks out of the diner, feeling his eyes on her. And she is happy he is looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Love, Kate xxx


	3. Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's the deal. I know everyone hated Lori when she was on the show, and I did too, but when she died, it made me feel kind of... empty, you know? Like the show had actually lost something with her character's death (quite a tragic one, I'd say). She wasn't the best wife or mother, she was a human, just like we all are, and she made her mistakes. She deserved a much better ending. They all do. This is me giving her the remembrance she deserved on the show.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 3** \- Roses

 

Beth has always hated funerals. Everything about them, for that matter. Long cookie-cutter harangues full of condolences and sympathy from people who didn't even know the person they are talking about. Not really.

Beth guesses the same could be said the about her – she wasn't that close to Lori Grimes, after all, didn't really know her. She used to babysit Carl when he was younger, her mom used to be good friends with Lori – not the kind of friends that are invited to each other's birthdays, but the kind of friends who express concern about each other, in a polite but not any sort of pushy way.

Beth thinks that it must mean she did know Lori.

Of course she did.

The worst thing is that two years ago, first at her mother's funeral and then at Shawn's, Beth remembers Lori come up and give her a hug. The sort of hug that doesn't heal completely (that's simply impossible), but the one that gives hope that maybe one day it will hurt a little less.

And now she's dead.

The feeling of hopelessness presses on Beth so hard she thinks she might snap.

It's a beautiful day – warm, but just a tad bit of cool wind. The type of weather when one usually feels ready for life, staying active instead of hiding in shade in desperate attempts to avoid boiling hot sun.

Beth doesn't notice any of that. But she suddenly realises how tired her feet are, balancing on her heeled shoes that keep sinking into the grass. She concentrates on that, trying to take her mind off the stinging pain, blossoming in her chest.

She looks up and around, for the first time paying attention to the people standing, forming a circle. She recognises most of them – it's a small town after all – but she doesn't hold her gaze on anyone for longer than a split second. It's Carl who she really looks at. His eyes are glued to the ground, he is not crying, but Beth is standing not too far away, and she can see his lips trembling. The boy is holding a single red rose in his right hand. It suddenly reminds Beth of one of the times she babysat Carl for the Grimes' anniversary, and how Rick appeared at the doorstep with an armful of roses – red and pink – and how Lori blushed and palmed her lips with her eyes wide in surprise. Beth closes her eyes and concentrates on bringing up that moment in her memory, and for a second she sees Lori's smile and hears her laugh, and she has to squeeze her eyelids shut because of the stinging tears.

When Beth opens her eyes, Carl's gaze hasn't moved, and it actually seems like he hasn't moved a muscle. She knows she is staring, but doesn't care enough to worry about it, and the next thing she knows, everything is over, and everyone starts talking again – quiet whispers, but still – and Beth stays in her spot. She watches Carl come up to the coffin and set the rose on top of it, his fingers lingering around the stem of the flower for a few seconds before letting go. And when he just stands there, Beth finds herself taking a few steps forward. She hears Maggie call after her, but she doesn't pay any attention to that. Instead, Beth comes up to Carl and hugs him gently, pressing her chin to his crown, feeling his breath on her neck. It seems to startle him at first, but then she finds his arms around her waist and feels Carl tremble a little. When Beth realises it's even harder for him to fight tears now, she starts crying. Not hysterically, but with just a few tears sliding down her cheeks.

People shouldn't die like this. Not when just a week ago Lori was positively beaming with happiness, caressing her huge, very much pregnant stomach. Women shouldn't have to sacrifice their lives so that their babies could live. That's not fair.

Not that if she died in any other way it would have been easier.

"It will be okay," Beth says, knowing perfectly well that no matter what she says, it won't feel any better, but she feels somewhat compelled to say that anyway. "It will be okay."

She pulls away after a few long moments of the hug and sees tears brimming in his eyes.

"Let me know if you need any help with Judy, okay?" Beth asks and waits for his nod, kissing the crown of his head softly and disappearing into the crowd.

Beth intends to find her family when she bumps into someone she didn't expect to see at all.

"Jimmy?" she asks, startled. Her cheeks are still wet with tears, and for some reason she is embarrassed by it. Because it's Jimmy.

"Hey," he says. "Are you okay?"

"Managing."

Now that she thinks of it, she shouldn't be that surprised by seeing him here. Lori was his little sister's elementary school teacher and his mother's good friend. Of course he would come to her funeral. It just feels weird – seeing his face after more than a year. She assumes their breakup was her fault too, but he started it. After her mother died and Beth nearly killed herself, he pulled away, apparently not knowing how to behave around her. That made him just like everyone else – and that's something Beth couldn't forgive him at the time. Or maybe ever. That's why she shut the door in his face when he showed up at the farm a few months later. He moved away for college, and Beth hasn't seen him until this moment. Didn't feel like she wanted to, anyway.

But Beth remembers how her mother used to say that one should respect the good things people had done, even if they've messed up. That is the only reason why she brings herself to speak to him.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you," he pauses. "Feels weird to be back."

"Yeah," she couldn't agree more.

"Well, I should-"

"Jimmy!" they both turn, and Beth sees a woman, standing next to Jimmy's parents' car and waving at him. She has a small, but noticeable baby bump.

"Is that…" Beth trails.

"Yeah. My girlfriend."

It stings way more than it should, and Beth knows that. She tries to force a smile.

"It was nice talking to you," she says.

"You too."

And with that, he heads off to his family. Beth turns away, unconsciously looking at the few people that are still gathered around.

Jimmy's girlfriend is pregnant. It could have been Beth with him. With a baby. He has a life without her. She shouldn't be disappointed or even upset because of that. If anything, she could be happy for him. She _should_ be happy for him because no matter what, they were good friends since… forever.

When she looks up and sees the person, whose presence surprises her even more than Jimmy's, she decides not to think about it. At least for now. She will have plenty of time for self-loathing. Instead, Beth watches Rick talk to Daryl, and then them hugging each other. She has never seen Daryl smile, but right now he seems sadder than ever. It's like he's hurting too. He must be very close to their family because Rick is definitely not the kind of person who gets affectionate with people he doesn't know. Beth had known their family forever, and she never got a hug from Rick. It strikes her how brotherly their embrace seems. Not just friendly, it's more like they are actually one family.

Beth watches Rick tell Daryl something and walk away, and she doesn't even think about stopping herself. She just comes up to him.

It feels inappropriate to think about it, standing next to the church, minutes after Lori's funeral, but Daryl looks really hot in the black suit he is wearing. He shoves his hand into his side pockets and watches her come up, not in the slightest surprised to see her.

"Hi," she says, suddenly feeling very shy. Like a clingy, annoying girl that won't leave him alone. Maybe that's how it is – she is always the one to speak to him first, after all. She hopes it isn't though.

"Hey," he replies and keeps staring at her with the same intense gaze. He sighs quietly, and there is such sadness in his eyes, that she summons all the courage she has and speaks again.

"Listen, do you want to go for a walk?"

He blinks.

"Why?"

Beth shrugs. "It might distract you," she looks above his shoulder. "There is this beautiful place by the river creek, I could show it to you."

He looks down. "Don't need no distraction," he mumbles.

Beth feels a wave of disappointment and embarrassment hit her. It takes her a lot of strength not to look away.

"Alright," she says. "I hope you have a nice day."

Beth spins away and is about to walk off, when she hears, "Wait." She freezes to the spot, but doesn't turn to look at him. "It can't be that bad, can it?" he asks, and she smiles.

"No."

She starts leading the way, and they walk past the church, the graveyard, heading toward the trees, rising densely on the other side of the small clearing.

Beth unlocks the screen on her phone and begins typing a text to Maggie as she walks. _Went for a walk. Tell daddy you can leave without me._

Daryl watches her as she locks the screen again, and the hand holding her phone falls to her side.

"Just had to let my sister know where I'm going," she shrugs.

"What if I'm a serial killer?" he asks.

"No way," she clasps her mouth, faking shock. "Does Rick cover for you then?"

"Yeah, you got it," he says and smiles. _He actually smiles._ Beth feels like she just won a lottery.

They walk slowly – they are not in any kind of rush, and Beth just enjoys the air and silence around them. They're not talking, and again, it's not an uncomfortable pause. It actually feels nice.

She gets lost in her thoughts again, moving her legs automatically, but she does notice when Daryl slows down a little. Beth turns her head and sees what he's looking at – a small cabin, that seems so blended into the woods' atmosphere it has almost become part of it. As if it's not something made by human anymore.

She smiles.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

He both nods and shrugs. "Does anyone live here?"

Beth furrows her brows. "I don't think so. I mean… Shawn and I used to play here every summer and it has always looked exactly like this. A little less old, maybe."

As if mimicking her, Daryl frowns too.

"Not exactly the safest place for kids to play."

"Well, Shawn was always like that. He would never listen to our parents. Always dragged me around with him. Until we got older and girls weren't fun to play with anymore," she smiles at that softly.

"That's stupid," Daryl says, and as she meets his gaze, there is a hidden smile in it. "Girls are much more fun."

"I don't think you would have said that if you had a baby sister yourself. Tea parties get _really_ tiring after a while."

He doesn't say anything to that, and they keep walking. They are almost there – a couple of minutes, and they can see the creek and a small garden-type alcove on the bank, hidden in between the trees a little.

"Come on," Beth says and waves to the side. It's a perfect place to get some alone time – the bank is very peaceful at all times, and the only sounds disrupting the silence is water in the stream and birds' chirping. They sit down at the table in the middle of the alcove. "Shawn and I used to have picnics here all the time. Someone must look after it from time to time because it's always clean," she says as he looks around carefully, as if he's evaluating his surroundings.

"Was there anything you did with your sister?" he asks suddenly, and Beth is taken aback by the question. She never thought about it that way.

"I guess… we didn't spend much time together," she shrugs. "Maggie was always… older. Different. Popular. I swear, she used to go to parties every single weekend. And Shawn, it was like he understood me, you know? Like sometimes, I didn't even need to finish my sentence. He would know what I wanted to say anyway," Beth looks down at her wrist- the one that is covered with bracelets. People never get why she did that to herself. But Shawn would have understood, she knows that. "I miss him so bad. He was so… annoying and overprotective. He almost beat up Jimmy once, just for kissing me," she lets out a giggle that sounds like it's been trapped in her chest for a long time. Shuddery and weary.

Daryl is silent, and Beth looks up again. She is surprised when she finds him listening to every word she says. Watching her carefully. Like she is a mystery that needs solving. But the thing is, she will tell him anything he wants to know. And she doesn't even know why.

"I didn't know you were friends with Rick," she says, not being able to hold the question back anymore.

"Known him for a while," he shrugs.

"Everyone knows him. He's a Sheriff. Being friends with him is different."

He doesn't say anything at first, and she is already thinking about changing the subject, but he doesn't let her.

"A few months after Merle got locked up, he knocked on my door and asked me to track and find this girl from Lori's first grade who got separated and lost in the forest, when they went on a school trip or something."

That makes sense: Daryl is a hunter, and a really good one (everyone in Senoia knows that, but no one gives him credit for it).

Beth smiles. "And you were friends since then?"

"Sort of," he shrugs again. "Lori invited me over for a dinner as a 'thank you' gesture. You know how convincing she could be," he says, and Beth nods. She definitely does know. Talking about her in past tense suddenly hurts. A lot. "They invited me a few times after then, and I didn't mind."

"I babysat for them many times and I've never seen you at their house," Beth states, merely sharing an observation.

"Don't like to spend much time there," Daryl says.

"Why?"

"Can get them him into trouble. Dixons are bad news."

Beth doesn't know what to say to that. She honestly doesn't understand why people are so mean to each other, and it seems like Daryl is a particularly big target in this town. She remembers Lexi-Marie whispering into her ear that someone told her Dixons were hiding dead bodies in their basement. Rick and Lori were different though. They were able to see what Beth couldn't. Well, not until a few weeks ago. Rick and Lori always stood up for people they were close to, and Beth is not that surprised no one knows about their friendship with Daryl because Daryl himself wanted that. She is only surprised Lori didn't convince him otherwise.

Beth suddenly smiles, looking at her hands that are folded on the table.

"What?" Daryl asks.

"One time I got sick after babysitting Carl – he gave me a cold – and the next morning my mom was surprised to find Lori at our doorstep. She brought me chicken soup and almost forced me to eat it. My mom tried to tell her that she was perfectly capable of taking care of me, but Lori wouldn't listen."

Daryl huffs in an almost silent laughter. "She made me that soup once too." And there is suddenly such sadness in his eyes, that something in Beth's chest ache. This isn't very distracting, is it?

"Give me your phone," she says.

"Why?"

"Trust me."

He looks at her for a few seconds, not saying anything and just blinking, and takes his cell phone out of his pocket. She taps in her number and sends herself a text to save his number too, instantly handing the phone back to Daryl.

"In case if you need someone to make chicken soup for you again," she says.

And then he gives her another smile. The real one. And that _winning a lottery_ kind of feeling returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Love, Kate xxx


	4. Never Wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, I've had a very stressful week and honestly didn't even have time to get to my computer, let alone write anything. But it's over, and here's the new chapter.  
> I feel like I've been writing the way I have to, not the way I feel. From now on, I'll be putting more of _myself_ into the fic. Hope you like it.  
>  I would like to dedicate it to all moms out there who don't get enough credit for being mothers. You are doing the hardest job in the world, so make sure to be proud of that.  
> Enjoy.

**Chapter 4** \- Never Wonder

 

Beth furrows her brows as she warily rocks the crying baby in her arms.

"Shh…" she trails. "It's okay, Judy. Shh…"

Judith only seems to get louder. Carl and Rick warned her about this: Judy cries a lot. No one knows why. She eats enough, she sleeps enough, her diapers are always changed on time.

Beth feels like she might know the reason. The baby needs her mother.

Her cries become hysterical, and Beth desperately grabs Judy's bottle with the formula and brings it to the baby's wide-open mouth. Just one look at Judith's chubby but tear-stained cheeks results in Beth's heart clenching with sorrow. Poor little girl.

This time it sort of works: Judy quiets down and starts slowly swallowing the formula as her tiny hands grab the bottle. Her small face is red from tears.

"I'm going to tell you a story my mom used to tell me when I was little," the kitchen is quiet, apart from clock ticking and sounds of Judith eating, and Beth smiles at the baby. " _There was a knight once. He was his king's most loyal servant, but refused to flatter him. The king was vain and didn't like the knight's honesty. He decided to get rid of him_ ," Judy is almost silent now, carefully watching Beth's face. Beth has always thought the idea of babies not understanding anything is nonsense. " _The queen was wise and promised the knight to discuss it with her husband and make him change his mind. But he owed her a favour in return. So she told him he had a year and a day to discover what it is that any woman wants. If he found the right answer, he could stay_." Judith stops eating but keeps looking at Beth quietly, and she puts the bottle away and takes a seat, still holding the baby in her arms.

" _He spent the whole year travelling and asking women what they want, but no one said the same thing. Some wanted love, some – beauty or money. Some wanted freedom. On the last day, as he was riding through the forest back to the king's castle, he stumbled upon a group of twenty beautiful women. As he came closer, they all magically disappeared, and only one old lady was left. She was ugly, her face was covered in thousands of wrinkles. She said she would help the knight to find answer he needed, in exchange for a favour. The knight returned to the queen and said that all women want to be treated well by their husbands_." Judith almost starts fussing again, but Beth rocks her gently and continues her story. " _The answer was right, and the knight was allowed to stay. The old lady said that in exchange for her help he had to marry her. The knight was noble and did as he promised, secretly being terrified of marrying an old and ugly woman_ ," in the process of telling the story, Beth slowly heads for the nursery, where Judith crib is. " _As they exchanged vows, the knight kissed the old woman, and as they were pronounced man and wife, she suddenly turned into a beautiful girl. She told him that appearance can be deceitful and one shouldn't judge others by it. Due to his honesty and duty, he had a beautiful and loving wife. And they lived happily ever after_."

She puts Judith in the crib, and the baby smiles at her brightly, immediately putting her right thumb in her mouth.

"You love stories, don't you?" Beth states, brushing Judy's light and thin hairs away from her forehead.

"Beth?" she hears someone call her name and leaves the nursery.

"Yes?" Beth appears in the corridor and sees Daryl shutting the front door behind him. "Daryl? What are you doing here?"

They haven't talked since Lori's funeral two weeks ago. Beth has been doing her best to not appear in town. She has no idea why. Well, she does. But she doesn't like to admit that she has locked herself on the farm because Jimmy is back in Senoia. No way that's true.

It's the first time she left farm today. Rick has called this morning and asked for help. He had to work, Carl was staying at his grandma's house for the weekend, so there wasn't anyone to keep an eye on Judy. Beth was glad to help and agreed immediately.

"Rick asked to check on you," he says, looking a little awkward.

"Oh."

"Is Judith asleep?"

"No."

"What happened?" he asks with a hint of worry, and Beth knows what he means. If she is not sleeping, then how on earth is it quiet?

"Nothing-"

She doesn't finish her sentence because Daryl already breaks his way into the nursery. Well, maybe not _breaks_ , but definitely rushes. Beth rolls her eyes and follows after him.

Beth finds him standing and looking wordlessly at Judith, who is squeezing his forefinger in her tiny hand and laughing at the face he makes.

Beth can't help but smile in response to it.

"How did you do this?" he asks, without looking at her.

Beth shrugs a shoulder even though he can't see her and, taking a few steps, stands beside him.

"I've always wanted a child."

It might be a weird thing to say, especially if you are talking to someone you hardly know. Hardly know, but you feel like he is the only person in the world who understands you. The only person who actually _wants_ to understand.

He gives her a look that says, _"You're a sorceress"_ , and nods. They both look at Judith, and she is starting to fall asleep, her eyes growing heavy.

"I should go," he whispers after they leave the nursery and Beth shuts the door quietly behind them.

He already turns to walk off, but Beth grabs his arm.

"No, stay," she then realises how that might sound, and adds, "if you can."

Daryl looks even more awkward now.

"You're probably busy. Don't want to-"

"You won't," she interrupts. "Would you like some tea? It gets pretty lonely when the baby is asleep."

He hesitates, but nods. "Sure."

And with that, they head for the kitchen.

* * *

As Beth makes their tea, Daryl is sitting at the kitchen isle. Her back is turned to him at the moment.

"You never called me. Or texted," she says, not trying to accuse him of anything, merely stating the obvious. She doesn't know why she is saying it at all. She just really wanted to hear from him. _Really_ wanted to.

"What would I be texting you for?"

Beth turns and sets two steaming cups on the kitchen isle. He looks confused.

"You don't need a reason to text someone," she says.

"Don't you?" he asks in a way that tells Beth he seriously doesn't understand.

"No. You can just ask how that person is feeling, or tell something that happened to you, or send a funny picture… It can be anything."

The uncomfortable look on his face tells her to change to topic, so she asks him how his week has been.

"It was fine," he answer simply, and Beth notices he is looking at the book that is lying on the counter beside Beth.

"It's _Hard Times_ ," she says and gives him a smile. "My favourite Dickens' novel. I feel like people don't give it enough credit."

"Haven't read that."

Now Beth is the one who feels awkward. Or maybe both of them do. She is honestly not trying to rub anything in his face. She has no idea what to do or what to say, so she goes with her instinct.

"Would you like to hear my favourite part?" she asks.

To her great relief, Daryl nods and takes a sip of his tea.

Beth grabs the book, easily finds the needed page and starts reading:

' _Then, Mr M'Choakumchild said he would try me once more. And he said, Here are the stutterings-'_

' _Statistics,' said Louisa._

' _Yes, Miss Louisa – they always remind me of stutterings, and that's another of my mistakes – of accidents upon the sea. And I find (Mr M'Choakumchild said) that in a given time a hundred thousand persons went to sea on long voyages, and only five hundred of them were drowned or burnt to death. What is the percentage? And I said, Miss;' here Sissy fairly sobbed as confession with extreme contrition to her greatest error; 'I said it was nothing.'_

' _Nothing, Sissy?'_

' _Nothing, Miss – to the relations and friends of the people who were killed. I shall never learn,' said Sissy._

Beth looks up and sees him watching her carefully. The silence is so heavy and intense, Beth speaks again.

"My mom used to read Charles Dickens to me all the time. She could do different voices, and it was so funny, it was impossible not to listen."

He doesn't say anything at first, and Beth gives him his time. She knows by now, that no one can force Daryl to do things. Especially when it comes to talking about himself. So she just sits there, sipping her tea, letting it be _his_ choice.

"We had a book of fairy tales," he says and clears his throat. Beth doesn't make a sound, listening carefully to anything he wants to share with her. "My mother had a favourite one, _The Cat that Walked by Himself_."

Beth smiles.

"Did you like it?"

"Was fine," Daryl shrugs. "Didn't read that a lot."

"Why?" Beth asks.

"My old man took the book away. Said fairy tales were for girls. I think he put it under a broken sofa's leg."

"That's nonsense," she states, thinks a little, and then adds: "Judy seems to like listening to stories. I got her to calm down with one."

Daryl doesn't say anything to that, but somehow the silence between them feels much more comfortable now.

* * *

It's only two hours later when Rick comes home and finds Beth and Daryl sitting on the sofa. Beth is reading, and Daryl is watching something on TV. They feel very comfortable just spending time with each other, and when Rick slams the front door in extremely loud manner, Beth jumps and turns to hiss at him.

"Shush!" she says. "Judith is sleeping."

Rick nods and walks over to the couch as Beth returns to her book.

"What are you guys doing?" he asks.

"Waiting for you to come in and acts too loud," Daryl says in a non-offensive manner.

Beth looks up and sees Rick standing beside them and smiling smugly. She thinks she can guess what he is thinking. And even though it's nothing like that, she doesn't feel like discouraging him because the man has just lost his wife and he deserves to smile more. Even if it's at their cost.

Baby monitor that has been soundly sitting on the coffee table breaks with Judy's cries, and Beth immediately jumps of the couch.

"Look what you did," she playfully pokes him with her elbow and runs off to check on the baby.

Judith simply needs her diaper changed, and when that is done, she goes quiet again. However, the second Beth tries to put her back in the crib, she starts crying. So Beth keeps rocking Judy in her arms, and as the baby calms down, she starts walking down the corridor.

"It's not like that," she hears Daryl's voice as she nears the living room.

"How do you even know each other?" Rick asks. "Wasn't the fact that you've never met her one of the reasons why you refused to check on Judith at first?"

Beth knows she shouldn't do this. _Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves._ But she can't help it, so she just pauses and stands closer to the wall, forgetting how to breathe.

"We met a few weeks ago. Didn't plan anything. It just… happened," Daryl explains.

Beth guesses she can agree with that. She hasn't planned anything either. Didn't even think she'd see Daryl at Grimes' house when Rick called her.

"You like her," with the way Rick says it, it doesn't sound like a question.

"She's nice."

Beth feels like an idiot, but when Daryl says that, her heart seems to stop beating.

"No, not just _nice_ ," Rick states. "You _like_ her."

"Stop repeating the same words, man. You don't make no sense."

"You-"

Previously silently sitting in her arms, Judith chooses this moment to let out a happy laugh and slap her drool covered hands in Beth's face.

Beth knows she's busted, so she decided to play it cool. She comes into the living room, where Daryl and Rick are pretending they weren't just talking about her.

"Look who just woke up," she says and pecks Judy on the forehead.

As Rick takes the baby from her arms, Beth gives both Rick and Daryl a warm smile. Her heart fastens as she sees Daryl smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story Beth tells Judith is a little altered (baby-proofed) _The Wife of Bath's Tale_ from _The Canterbury Tales_ , so all credit for that goes to Joeffrey Chaucer. Oh, and same with Dickens.  
> Tell me what you think. Love you all.


	5. Tenderness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello everyone!  
> I promised to update soon, so here I am. And can I just say that if you haven't seen the new episode of TWD, you have to watch it right now. Like, this instant. I'm not going to spoiler or anything, but holy moley, how epic was that! I can't remember when was the last time I almost bitten off my nails with worry. And I actually had found myself hoping Beth was in the episode. How much cooler would that be?  
> Anyway, here's the new chapter. No literary allusions this time, but quite an important step in the development of Bethyl's relationship.  
> Enjoy.

**Chapter 5** \- Tenderness

 

Leaving Grimes' house, Beth sort of feels good about her life. (For once.)

Rick does mention that, with her talent, this is not the last time he asked for help with Judith. Beth almost whispers, _thank God_ to that.

It's already dark outside, and she needs to get home soon, or daddy will be worried. She breathes in the fresh air and smiles. Life is good.

The second she gets in her car, her phone buzzes, and she answers the call.

"Beth?"

"Hi, Lexi-Marie," says Beth and smiles. She is definitely in a good mood. And it has _nothing_ to do with the fact Daryl and she had spent good three hours together. _Definitely._ "How are you?"

"Beth," she says and sniffs loudly. Beth tenses when she hears that. Lexi-Marie never cries. If she _is_ crying, it must be something _bad_.

"What happened?" Beth asks, alarmed.

"I don't want to explain it on the phone," she sobs. "I need your help. Can you come pick me up?"

"Sure," Beth starts fumbling with the keys. "Where are you?"

"I'm at a restaurant, it's in College Park."

"College Park? Okay, I'm on my way. Stay where you are and text me full address."

"Okay."

They both hang up.

It's almost an hour drive and she hopes she'll be there on time.

* * *

"Where are you?" Beth asks, shutting the door of her car, locking it and leaving it in the _Olive Garden_ parking lot.

"I'm in the bathroom. I can't… I can't come out," Lexi-Marie says, and she is not crying anymore but her voice is still strained.

"Why?"

"Just…" she trails.

"Fine, I'm coming in, give me a minute."

Beth enters the restaurant and quickly explains to the waiter that her friend is waiting for her. She runs to the bathroom door and bangs it open.

Lexi-Marie is a wreck. She is resting her back against the sink, her hair a mess. She jumps as Beth comes in and looks up. The sight makes Beth gasp.

Had Beth seen her on the street like this, she wouldn't even recognise her middle school best friend. Her right eyebrow is cut open – like someone had actually punched her in the face – and there is drying blood on it and in the corner of her mouth. Her makeup is completely ruined – it looks like she was trying to wash off blood – and a huge bruise is starting to bloom on her cheek.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Beth gives her a tight hug and feels Lexi-Marie's shoulders start shaking.

"It's Kyle…" she says.

"Kyle?"

"Yes, my boyfriend."

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend… Did he do this to you?" Beth asks, bewildered.

Lexi-Marie doesn't say anything to that, she just starts sobbing again.

"Shh…" Beth trails, probably for the tenth time today. She turns Lexi-Marie around and tries to rinse her face with water. It must hurt because she immediately hisses and draws away. "It'll be okay, L," says Beth, giving her another hug.

Lexi-Marie suddenly chuckles in between her sobs: "You haven't called me that since tenth grade."

"Well, it's still me," she feels Lexi-Marie nodding. "Come on," she says. "Let's get you out of here."

Together, they make their way through the restaurant and into the parking lot. Lexi-Marie desperately tries to stop crying or at least do it quietly – to attract less attention. Beth helps her into the car and walks around to the driver's side.

"What happened?" she asks as soon as she has shut the door.

Lexi-Marie starts sobbing again. Beth's heart aches as she looks at her. Whoever did this to her better be very sorry because she does not deserve anything like this.

Beth has so many questions. What is she doing in College Park? Why did her boyfriend do this to her and then left her there alone? Was Beth the only one who agreed to come? What happened to the girl Lexi-Marie used to be – resilient, happy, always smiling? She wishes she could ask her, but she doesn't. Instead, she just lets her talk.

"I met Kyle two months ago," she starts. "He was so charming, said I was nothing like other girls. He said I was special. I thought he actually liked me," her voice breaks. Beth takes Lexi-Marie's hands in hers. "He always acted possessive. At first, it flattered me – I thought it meant he had strong feelings for me. It escalated quickly, he just started telling me what to I could and couldn't wear, to put less makeup on. I didn't listen because – you know me – I don't let people tell me what to do."

Beth has to agree with that. Lexi-Marie never lets anyone boss her around.

She suddenly remembers that one time in their freshman year, when Lexi-Marie signed out at the main office and left – pretending she had a dentist appointment – just to skip the whole school assembly and a study period. When her homeroom teacher suggested she might have missed it on purpose, she simply said, "That's a strong accusation. Do you really want to make it?" The confident way in which she spoke made the teacher hesitate and back down. Lexi-Marie even complained to Beth about the teacher, saying that, _how dare he accuse her of something_. To Beth's quiet attempt to explain that she had missed school on purpose, Lexi-Marie simply said unless they had actual proof she skipped school, they had no right to presume anything.

Truth be told, Lexi-Marie is the most confident person Beth knows.

"He called me this morning, said we'd go on a date – first eat out and then go to the club. His friend was meant to get him fake ID. But, during dinner he suddenly got aggressive – said I was dressed like a slut and that I smiled at every single man around, and that I can't be trusted. He dragged me to the bathrooms and started hitting me. I didn't expect it at all, thought he would just shout at me and we'll be done with it. It was so sudden, I didn't even get to shout for help-" her voice gets quieter with every single word, until she stops talking at all and just sits there with her eyes shut, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Listen to me, L," Beth says, giving her shoulder a squeeze of affection. "We have to go to the police."

Lexi-Marie's eyes fly open, and she starts shaking her head hysterically, her sobs getting louder.

"No," she begs. "Please, Beth. My mom will kill me if she finds out I was dating an older man."

"That bastard deserves to be punished!" Beth says firmly, secretly happy that she spoke of him in past tense. She doesn't need that kind of people in her life. Lexi-Marie is a good person.

"No, please," she repeats, nervously grabbing Beth's hand. "Just take me home. Please."

Beth sighs heavily and furrows her brows: "Only if we stop by the drugstore to get some bandaids. Otherwise, that will scar," she points at a deep cut above her brow. At least it doesn't need stitches.

"Okay. Let's just go home."

"Won't your mom see you when you then?" Beth asks.

"She is on vacation with John and his new girlfriend," Lexi-Marie rolls her eyes, and for a second Beth actually recognises her old friend in this beat up and tired body. She really wants to find that Kyle – whoever he even is – and turn him in to the police. Why does he get to walk the earth unpunished when someone as great as Lexi-Marie has to be hurt?

Beth starts the engine and waits for Lexi-Marie to fasten her seatbelt. She drives out of the parking lot with a heavy heart.

* * *

Beth is scared.

By the time she approaches Senoia, it's almost midnight, and Lexi-Marie is sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Beth is too distracted by her thoughts of her friend. She is trying to think of a way to help her, to explain to her that she has to stand up for herself and let Kyle get the punishment that he deserves. At some point, she (for some reason) thinks of Daryl and his mother. Why is that women let men hurt them and walk away? Or stay and do it repeatedly, even. They say in Senoia that Anne Dixon had burned up the whole house with herself in it, just to escape the constant nightmare her life had been. Beth doesn't know if that's true, but every time she imagines that the horrible man Daryl had to call father once could have raised his hand at him, her heart aches. No one deserves that. No one should go through something like that. _No one._

She notices something is wrong, but it's already too late. The car is suddenly thrown to the right, and as adrenaline starts pumping through her veins, Beth stops the vehicle. Thank God, she is successful, and the car is still on the road, and Lexi-Marie is still asleep. No one is hurt. _Thank God._

Beth leaves Lexi-Marie in her seat and gets out. She lets out an exasperated and tired sigh. She needs to change her flat tire because it's absolutely destroyed, and she is probably _lucky_ to be alive right now, but she can't. She simply doesn't know how and she seriously doubts Lexi-Marie does. In their defense, how many eighteen-year-olds can do that?

She is scared. It's dark around, they're in the middle of the highway, surrounded by trees – only a mile or so from Senoia, but still. Can't go too far with a flat tire.

She bites her lip, trying to think of a solution, and think of one quickly.

She can't exactly call daddy and ask for help because she had just called him two hours ago and said she would be staying at Lexi-Marie's house. Her friend begged her not to leave her alone.

She can't call Maggie either because she is probably asleep, and she has no idea how to change a flat anyway, so that's stupid.

Glenn is definitely not an option, since he can't keep a secret to save his life.

Beth pretends she only thought of Daryl when she had run out of options, but really, he was the first one to pop into her mind. She pulls out her cell, sincerely hoping she hasn't gotten on his nerves yet. Lexi-Marie will probably hate her for dragging someone else into this situation, but it's not like she has much of a choice. She is pretty much alone on a dark highway, there are woods everywhere, and appearing in the criminal news as another victim of some psycho is the last thing she wants. Besides, she can trust Daryl. If anyone can keep secrets, it's him.

He picks up on the second ring, and she is genuinely surprised by that. And startled because she didn't have time to come up with what she is actually going to say.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Daryl, it's Beth," she says, a little awkward. "Did I wake you?"

"No, it's fine. Is everything alright?" he asks, and Beth smiles at that. He might be acting all grumpy but he actually cares about people. She knows that. She suddenly remembers Rick's words. _You like her._ She doesn't know why, but that thought sends her heart racing. Please, just let it be true. She wants it to be true so bad.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I really didn't know who else to call. I've had an accident and I need your help," she bites her lip as she hears him walking.

"Where are you?" he asks.

* * *

Daryl is there in a matter of minutes. He shuts the door of his truck and comes up to Beth, who gets out of her car too.

"What happened?" he asks.

"I just need to change a tire and I have no idea how to do that," Beth explains.

Daryl rolls his eyes with a smile and gestures for her to open the trunk.

"What are you doing here so late anyway?" he pulls out the spare tire and gets down to changing it.

"I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise me to keep it a secret."

"Sure," Daryl shrugs, and Beth gives him a smile. She knew she could trust him.

"I don't really know how to say it…" Beth trails, having no idea how to approach this subject. What if he gets offended? After all, his mother went through something similar. She stops herself at that thought. If anyone can understand, it's Daryl. _Just trust him_. "Lexi-Marie. She is my friend, and her boyfriend hit her and left her alone in College Park, in a restaurant. She called me and asked for help. So I picked her up, and… well, got stuck here," she rolls a shoulder.

"Why didn't you call the cops?" Daryl asks, and Beth was already anticipating the question.

"I wanted to, but she begged me not to," Beth turns to look at her friend, sleeping soundly. "She doesn't want her mother to know. And trust me, Mrs Harris is not someone you can share you problems with."

"Don't matter. Bastard shouldn't get away with it," Daryl says, and he almost sounds defensive. Beth understands why. His father got away with everything. Anne Dixon never pressed charges.

"I know," Beth sighs. "That's exactly what I told her. But I can't force her. And she broke up with him, so he won't hurt her anymore."

Daryl grunts something instead of giving her a worded response, and Beth decides not to push it. It's not like she has much say in this situation anyway.

"All done," Daryl says in a few minutes and rubs his hands on his trousers before shutting the trunk of her car.

"Thank you," Beth gets on her tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek. She feels Daryl tense, but still does it, and as she steps away, he is staring at her with such intense gaze she feels her cheeks burn. "Umm… Do you mind driving with me to Lexi-Marie's house? I think she had a little too much wine at the restaurant, and I won't be able to carry her…"

"Sure," he says. "I can leave my truck in the diner's parking lot."

"Okay," Beth nods. "Lead the way," she smiles at Daryl and opens the driver's door to take a seat.

* * *

"Christ. She doesn't look so heavy," Daryl whispers, and Beth giggles, knowing that – obviously – it's a joke. Lexi-Marie can't be heavy. She is too much of a Queen Bee to be anything other than perfectly skinny. "What about her parents?"

"Her mother is on vacation, and her father… I've never met him," Beth goes through the stuff in her friend's purse until she finally finds the keys. Thank God.

She opens the front door and steps to the side for Daryl to come in. Remembering perfectly where everything is, Beth easily finds the light switch.

"Where do I take her?" quietly asks Daryl, and Beth can see he is starting to feel a little awkward.

"I'll show you to her bedroom," she says and walks down the corridor, quickly finding the second door to the left and opening it. "Just put her on the bed," she instructs him. Daryl does as told and walks out. Beth takes the shoes off Lexi-Marie's feet and opens the drawer to find a spare cover. She then turns off the light the leaves her friend sleeping peacefully in her bedroom. Everything is fine. They're safe, Lexi-Marie is home. They did it.

She finds Daryl at the front door, ready to leave.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" she asks, suddenly feeling worried.

"No. Why?"

"Would you like to stay a little longer? I could make us some coffee," Beth smiles, hoping she is not annoying him with her clinginess. She just doesn't want to let him go, trying to prolong the moment. He'll probably be sick of her soon. He doesn't answer anything at first, and Beth looks down: "You don't have to… Just let me get a-"

"Yeah," he says.

"What?" she stutters.

"I'd like some coffee," Daryl says, and Beth smiles at him brightly. Relief fills her heart as she locks the front door and leads the way to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think. Love you guys.


	6. Sensibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello everyone! I hope you guys are having a great weekend, and that the new chapter will make it even better. It was sort of hard for me to write this one, and I just hope I'm not losing the inspiration for this story because I like it and it's important to me. Please tell me what you think. Hope you like this.

**Chapter 6** \- Sensibility

 

"So…"

"So."

They are sitting across from one another at the table in her ex-best-friend's kitchen, it's almost two in the morning, and things are getting awkward. Beth doesn't even know why she asked Daryl to stay. She hasn't thought it through really, just asked him while she had the chance. It's not that it feels weird… actually, yes. It definitely feels weird. She really wants to talk to him, but her worry of her just annoying the heck out of him stops her. _Although_ , she reminds herself, _he would not have stayed if he didn't want to_. She knows she can be convincing from time to time but it's never been in her power to push people into doing anything they didn't want to. Besides, it's strange just sitting here without talking, and there has not been a single conversation that went wrong between them, so…

The silence in the room reaches its apogee, and she speaks up.

"Would you like more coffee?" Beth asks, getting up and ultimately buying herself more time. Which is sort of ridiculous, and she shouldn't be worried like this. This is Daryl. _Trust yourself_.

"Yeah," Daryl says placidly, and Beth notices herself contemplating if there is any hidden meaning behind it. _Stop it_.

"How has your week been?" she pours more steaming coffee into the mugs, painfully aware of his quiet sigh.

"Was fine," he shrugs as she comes up to the table and takes her seat.

"How is Rick doing?" she wonders. "I mean, he seems to be smiling sometimes, but does he actually feel better?"

Even when asking this, Beth knows that it's impossible to _be better_ at all. You can't get rid of the pain like that, you just learn to live with it. Beth is still learning too. She just really wants to help Rick somehow, make his life more bearable.

"No, I think not. But he will get there eventually. One day."

"One day…" repeats Beth, suddenly feeling her heartbeat in her scar. She suddenly smiles cryptically, and Daryl gives her a confused look. "I had an argument with Shawn, about Jimmy - my ex-boyfriend, and then he died. The last words I said to Shawn were that I was tired of his constant attempts to control me and hated him thinking that, being older, he had some sort of authority over me," Daryl doesn't say anything, but the look on his face tells Beth that he is listening to every word. And that maybe he doesn't mind her talking a lot. Maybe he is actually interested in what she has to say. "My mom was at her death bed for a few days and at least I was able to say good-bye, but Shawn's car crash was so… out of nowhere. He was always a careful and just a _good_ driver. And after his death – for a long time – I kept thinking that I haven't told him I loved him. That he died thinking I hated him." She pauses and turns her mug absentmindedly. "It took me a few months, but I did realise that he knew anyway. There are some things you don't need to say out loud. They are just… there, you know?"

Beth looks at Daryl expectantly, and he gives her a single nod, but that seems like enough for her.

"I just don't want Rick to detach himself from Judith and Carl because of his loss. Any moment spent with kids is precious."

"You being ready to help out makes a difference," Daryl says, shrugging nonchalantly.

Beth smiles at that. He always makes those subtle compliments and acts as if he is just stating the obvious.

"So. You've graduated high school. What are your plans?"

This is probably the first time Daryl starts a topic rather than Beth pushing it onto him. It makes her heart beat faster. She swallows a sudden lump in her throat and looks down at still half-full coffee mug in front of her.

"College," she says and pauses. "Medicine."

"Wow."

"Yeah," she smiles. "I mean, I've still got a miles-long recommended reading list for the summer. Haven't even started that."

"You don't sound too thrilled," he comments observantly. "Do you… not want that?"

"Let's just say it's something my parents always wanted for me. And I don't want to disappoint daddy. Not after… everything."

Daryl doesn't answer anything, but Beth can almost physically sense his opinion. He probably thinks it's stupid to be so dependent on what others think of you. She stared down at her bright white nail vanish. She thinks of it every day. If she has made a right choice – following her parents' dream. Sometimes she feels like medicine is something so important and complicated that someone without passion to study it shouldn't even try. But then, she usually remembers her mother at her death bed and think that maybe, if she does study it, one day she might actually make a difference. Save someone's life.

"I'll be right back," she whispers and gets up. Striding through the kitchen, she tries not to run. She comes into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

Beth sighs heavily and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She smoothens out the skirt of her dress and pulls the loose cardigan over her shoulders to make sure it stays in place. Her French braid is almost ruined, and for a minute she considers redoing it but changes her mind. It's two in the morning, for God's sake. She can afford to look tired. Which she definitely does, and dark circles under her eyes are the main sign of that. She rubs off smudged mascara underneath her lower lash line, and washes her hands.

Naturally, she thinks of Daryl. The amount of time she spends thinking about him daily reminds her of those damsels from Jane Austen's novels, who would disappear in their rooms to contemplate things. When Beth was little, she always asked mom why they couldn't think while doing something else, and mom used to tell her that it was how things used to be. People got bored, so they would write long letters, read endless amounts of literature, draw portraits, and just sit down and think.

Beth decided to start a diary because of _The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_ – one of her most favourite books in the world. Helen Huntingdon's – the eponymous character's – diary saved her relationship with the man she loved. Beth always wrote her thoughts down because of that, hoping that maybe one day it will help her own love story. Until her mother died. Love for literature was something they shared, and although Beth would never stop reading, she could not dare to open the diary she once adored and read about how happy her life used to be. It would be too painful.

Beth always admired how characters in romantic novels managed to overcome complicated situations and fight for their love. And she wants something like that too. But more importantly, she wants her relationship with Daryl to be simple.

So she decides to stop trying. She will just be herself.

With that, she turns the doorknob and leaves the bathroom.

* * *

When Beth wakes up to her phone ringing, she feels so tired it's not even funny.

She blindly searches for its usual spot on the nightstand but can't find it, so she has to open her eyes. It's only then that she remembers she is not in her bedroom. It's Lexi-Marie's house, and Beth's ringtone rips the otherwise quiet air.

"Hello?" she says and yawns.

"Bethy, where are you? You said you'd be home by nine," Maggie asks, a little irritated, but not angry. Not _yet_.

"I will be," even though Maggie can't see her, Beth nods and shuts her eyes again. It feels like someone actually glued them together. "What time is it?"

"It's half nine. You're going to be late for church service."

Beth flies into a sitting position. Damn it.

"Sorry, I must have slept in. Tell daddy I'll meet you both at church."

"Since when do you stay in bed so late?" Maggie asks suspiciously.

"Just got tired yesterday. See you in half hour," Beth purposefully ends the conversation.

"Okay. Don't be late," Maggie sighs.

Beth hangs up and gets off the couch. She doesn't remember lying down last night. Frankly, the last thing she can recall is Daryl going to the bathroom and her still sitting at the table. She must have fallen asleep. That means that Daryl carried her to the living room and put her on the sofa. The thought of him holding her close makes her heart hasten. He is probably the sweetest man on earth.

She doesn't have any time to spare, so she goes to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. She then takes it to Lexi-Marie's bedroom. She is going to need _a lot_ of water. She is still asleep, and she needs to attend the service too, so Beth sets the glass on the nightstand and shakes her shoulder gently.

"Lexi-Marie," she says quietly, knowing the headache her friend gets when hungover. "It's time to wake up, L."

"No…" she groans, rolling to the other side. "What time is it?"

"Half nine."

"Shit." She almost jumps in her bed and immediately squirms, palming her forehead. "We have to go, don't we?"

"Yeah. You don't have a spare toothbrush, do you?" Beth asks, and Lexi-Marie smiles, while still frowning.

"It's in the cabinet above the sink."

They take turns to the shower, then quickly do their makeup – with Lexi-Marie applying way too much mascara and a handful of foundation to cover up her bruises – and soon they leave for church.

Lexi-Marie does end up needing sunglasses as well. People in their town don't need to know what happened.

* * *

Their usual Sunday lunch is quiet today. Maggie seems to be concentrated on her thoughts a little too much, and daddy disappears to take care of some problems with the truck almost as soon as he finishes his food.

"Are you alright?" Beth asks her sister when daddy leaves.

Maggie sighs but nods.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little bit of rough patch with Glenn. Don't worry about it."

Beth wants to ask more, but she knows Maggie won't tell her a thing if she doesn't want to. So she decides to do something she hasn't done in a long time – ask her big sister's advice.

"Do you think it's a right decision?"

Maggie's hand with a fork in it freezes mere inches away from her mouth. She looks at Beth for a few long moments.

"You mean your career choice?" she asks.

Beth smiles at Maggie's ability to understand her without words. She nods.

"Honestly, I don't think it's a good way to decide on what to do for the rest of your life. I know you love daddy, but it's your life. You should do something that is right for you. Not for him."

Beth shrugs.

"He's lived far longer than me. He knows what he's talking about. This profession will provide for me."

"Beth…" Maggie lets out another sigh. "Does daddy even know what you think about this?"

"I mean…" she shrugs.

"Have you ever told him?" Maggie raises her eyebrows insistently.

"No. I can't do it. He lost so much-"

"Then make sure his daughter doesn't lose a chance to do what she is passionate about. Tell him the truth."

"You're right," Beth pushes potatoes around her plate with a fork.

Her phone starts ringing, so she picks up her plate with one hand and carries it to the kitchen. She answers the call from there.

"Hi, L. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you. I deleted Luke from everywhere and blocked him on all social media and everything…"

Beth turns off the water and takes a seat at the kitchen aisle.

"You do realise that it's nowhere near enough. You should go to the police," Beth tries not to sound judgemental but fails. There is definitely some vexation in her tone. Sometimes she feels like Lexi-Marie really needs to take off her pink glasses.

"No, I shouldn't," Lexi-Marie demurs. "Everything will be fine if I just stay away from him."

"What if _he_ decides not to stay away from you?"

" _Then_ I'll call the police," stubbornly says Lexi-Marie, putting pressure into her words.

Beth sighs heavily. What does she always have to be so… recalcitrant, dammit?

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Speaking of that… I hope you know what you're doing too," notes Lexi-Marie, and Beth can imagine her raising her eyebrows cryptically.

"What are you talking about?" Beth frowns.

"I'm talking about that black leather jacket that was left in the living room."

"What black leather jacket?"

"Well, you know, it's… black and leathery…" Beth can hear a smile in her voice. "It's definitely not mine, and I don't think I've ever seen you wear anything like that, so… Who is he?"

Beth wants the earth to swallow her up. "It's not what you think…"

She can hear her friend giggling on the other end. There is some clicking sound – Lexi-Marie is opening the fridge.

"I mean, I've always been the reckless one, right? But here you are, sweet and innocent Beth, bringing some _friend_ to my house while I'm passed out drunk," she chuckles at her own words. "I appreciate you staying to make sure I was fine, but I'm not sure I'm too comfortable with you having… _dates_ in my living room."

"It's not like that, I promise," Beth says. "He helped me. And you too, by the way. If not for him, we would have been in big trouble. Getting stuck on the highway at midnight is definitely not on my bucket list."

"I see," Lexi-Marie pauses. "Who is he then?"

"He's a friend," Beth shakes her head, even though L can't see her. "We met a few weeks ago. Well, not _met_ – technically, we knew of each other before. We've started talking a few weeks ago."

"Do you like him?"

Beth doesn't know what to say to that. She hasn't even asked that herself yet.

"I- I don't know."

"Liar," Lexi-Marie giggles.

"I'm not!" Beth says, a little too loud, so she immediately turns around to look at the door. Maggie could have heard that.

Her reaction only causes more giggles from her friend.

"Look," Beth stops her. "Just- Forget about it, at least for now. I'll come over tonight to get the jacket."

"Whatever you say, B."

There is a distinct smile in her voice, and Beth decides not to concentrate on her being overly curious and just be happy that her friend is happy. She just hopes L doesn't go right back to that bastard of a boyfriend. She deserves so much better.

She gets up to finish washing the dishes, but before that, she sends Daryl a text.

_You left your jacket at my friend's place._

The response comes less than a minute later, and just that makes Beth smiles.

_Right! I've been looking for it._

_Well done. She is suspicious now. :)_

_*shrugs* You were the one to suggest I stayed._

Beth's grin grows wider. This feels good. Really good. She keeps texting and getting responses while the dishes remain in the sink, completely forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and please review. Love you guys!


	7. Metamorphoses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tons of gratitude to the most fabulous _arrowsandagels_ for helping me and beta reading this chapter. Thank you so much, seriously. You are a star. :)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.

**Chapter 7** \- Metamorphoses

 

No matter how many times Beth tells herself it's stupid, she keeps trying to imagine what Daryl's home looks like. She doesn't even know if it's an apartment or a house. Or if he lives alone. Obviously, he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything like that because otherwise she would have known. Wouldn't she? It's not something you can really hide in a town as small as Senoia. But then, Beth realises that no one knows about her and Daryl's friendship (or whatever it is they share), and that thought terrifies her. In what way does Daryl see her? An acquaintance? A friend? Just an annoying girl who won't leave him alone? At school, boys used to call her princess in a derogatory way, always saying she had a perfect and easy life because she comes from a loving family. And the truth is, she can't complain. Her family is indeed loving, and she would take a bullet for Maggie or daddy or Otis and Patricia. But her life had never been easy. What if Daryl thinks that too? That she is a little spoiled brat, never happy with what she has. What if he doesn't think about her at all? Frankly, she doesn't know what is worse.

Beth tries to remind herself that there is no use in questioning or overthinking his every word or gesture. But she does.

To keep herself distracted, Beth starts working more. Taking trips downtown to buy groceries when it's not her turn. Helping take care of farm animals. Painting the fence, even though daddy says it's Otis' job. the house top to bottom, dusting every picture frame and every single one of the tiny porcelain figurines her mom used to collect. Going through her wardrobe, getting rid of the things she hasn't worn for at least a year. But leaving that dress Maggie helped Shawn pick out for her as a present for her fifteenth birthday. Rearranging her bookshelf, sorting the books by size and in alphabetical order. Maggie and daddy give her weird looks while observing her start on a new task – like cleaning things out in the loft where no one has been for good few years, or washing the curtains that no one ever touches – but they don't say anything and Beth is thankful for that. She doesn't know why she does all these things. Maybe she is simply trying to procrastinate reading for college. Or maybe she tries to keep herself busy so that there is no time to think. Or maybe she just likes being in control of something for once in her life.

Maggie does not return to the conversation Beth dreads the most, but she does ask her occasionally, "Are you going to tell daddy?" Beth promises she will, but misses every single opportunity, putting it off over and over again. After all, how does one tell their parent about giving up on their dream? Besides, if she isn't going to study medicine, what will she do with her life? Right now, the future seems like a terrifying and distant perspective.

Early on that week, Rick calls Beth and asks if she will be able to babysit Judith on Friday. Which she happily agrees to. Since she got rid of half of her wardrobe, she decides she needs to go shopping. Maggie agrees and says something like, "New life, new Beth" – one of the phrases she picked up from her favourite romantic comedy – but refuses to keep her company because she already promised Glenn to meet him that day. Beth simply swallows the remarks that threaten to escape her lips. Setting your priorities straight, or something of the sort. So she calls Lexi-Marie. Beth doesn't even need to convince her, mentioning the idea is enough to make Lexi-Marie jump with excitement. Beth tries not to roll her eyes at a reaction that enthusiastic.

Lexi-Marie proclaims she will drive, and Beth decides not to question her decision to wear five-inch heels to go shopping. Most probably for the whole day. An eighteen-year-old should know what she's doing, right?

They end up spending the whole day and a ridiculous sum of money which, according to daddy, is his leaving for college treat for her. Beth swallows when she hears those words. She promises herself to tell him. Tomorrow.

The weather is so hot that air-conditioning in the mall almost doesn't help. Beth keeps sweating and wondering how Lexi-Marie is able to keep her makeup so flawless even when the sun has obviously decided to destroy them. Slowly.

Despite everything, she sort of enjoys this. Spending time with her ex-best-friend (or whatever it is they are to each other), buying things she likes (mostly, but sometimes things L likes and forces her to buy, saying she will look fabulous in them). However, despite Lexi-Marie's very convincing arguments, she refuses to go to Victoria's Secret and says she doesn't need lacy red and black underwear. It's just not her.

Lexi-Marie rolls her eyes at that. "At least you would have had something to show to that leather-jacket-guy of yours."

Beth feels herself blush. "It's not like that, I told you…"

"You're just friends," Lexi-Marie nods but something tells Beth she doesn't believe her.

Whatever. She is not going to shout her head off, proving something to Lexi-Marie, when in fact she doesn't even know why she started explaining herself in the first place.

Walking past Victoria's Secret, they stumble upon Jimmy and his girlfriend leaving Gap. The first thing Beth notices is that Jimmy is holding a bag from Toys R Us. That almost startles Beth. Almost. But it does startle Lexi-Marie.

"Jimmy?" Lexi asks and raises her eyebrows in question.

"Hey," he says and forces a smile, awkwardly putting an arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

"Didn't know you were back in town."

"Yeah. Been back for a while. Umm… This is my girlfriend, Jasmine," he says.

Lexi-Marie turns to give Beth a weird look, to which she just shrugs and tries to force a smile, for the first time paying attention to Jasmine and not her pregnant belly. Beth has to admit that she is ridiculously pretty. How does she manage to keep her hair so… healthy and glowing? Beth is no stranger to conditioner, but there must be some sort of secret to it because people are not just born with hair as perfect as that. Light curls that almost shimmer in the sunlight.

"Nice to meet you, Jasmine," Beth says, trying to stay civil. After all, it's not her fault her and Jimmy didn't work out. "I'm Beth."

"And I'm Lexi-Marie."

Beth almost squirms at the way her friend's voice sounds. Sweet and polite. Too sweet and too polite. For L, at least.

"Oh," in a beautiful, almost musical voice, says Jasmine. "You used to date in high school, right?" she points at Beth and Jimmy.

"Right," Beth nods, feeling extremely awkward, to say the least.

"Jimmy told me a lot about you and your best friend," she sing-songs, giving both Beth and Lexi-Marie her soft and charming smile.

"Did he tell you why they broke up?" Lexi-Marie suddenly asks, and Beth pushes her with her elbow.

Jasmine stays oblivious to that and keeps blinking her huge brown eyes and smiling. "No, he didn't," and she looks at Jimmy then.

Before Beth comes up with something that would end this verbal torture, Lexi-Marie speaks again.

"Well, maybe you should ask him."

At this point, Beth has had enough. "Okay, we should go. It was nice meeting you, Jasmine. Hope you guys have a nice day," with that, she takes Lexi-Marie's elbow and almost drags her away.

"Wait," L says, stopping Beth. She turns to look at Jimmy and Jasmine, still standing in their spot, talking. "Come on," this time, she takes Beth hand and pulls her towards Victoria's Secret.

"Why…" Beth manages to ask.

"Let him see you don't miss him at all. What a douche," Lexi-Marie says in a tone Beth doesn't like at all. As they come near the store, she yanks her hand out of Lexi-Marie's grasp and stops, setting her shopping bags on the floor. "What's wrong?" L asks, turning to look at her as if Beth was the one being weird.

"I don't want to be part of this vendetta you're plotting."

"Are you kidding me? Don't you remember? He kept saying he loved you, and now he's having a baby with this Barbie doll, and all after dumping you-"

"I remember," Beth interrupts. "Just as I remember how you did the same."

Lexi-Marie opens her mouth to say something and closes it. She blinks a few times, looking at Beth with wide eyes.

"And you didn't need to do that," Beth states.

"Do what?"

"Make it seem like there is a big secret to out breakup. Jasmine seems nice, she has done nothing to deserve that kind of attitude."

"So what? You are just going to let them walk all over you?" Lexi-Marie throws her hands up in exasperation.

"The only one walking all over me right now, is you."

Beth is pretty sure that's a terrible thing to say and she is ready to regret her words, but then Lexi-Marie lets out a snort.

"Whatever," she turns on her heels and starts walking away, but stops for a second a tosses over her shoulder. "Have fun walking home."

Standing there, in the middle of the mall and surrounded by people she has never met before, Beth feels like an idiot. And she wants to cry (so bad) but she doesn't let herself do that. Instead, she picks up her bags and walks across to the closest bench to sit down.

Covering her face with her hands, Beth thinks of some solution. Maggie won't be able to pick her up – she is probably too busy doing Glenn at the moment. Daddy will probably get worried and blame himself for not paying enough attention to her or something. And there is no way Otis and Patricia will keep it a secret from daddy if she asks for their help. Tears sting her eyes when she realises she needs her overprotective brother. Shawn wouldn't have even hesitated. He would have helped her in a heartbeat.

"Beth?" she hears a familiar voice and her head snaps upwards to see Jimmy and Jasmine standing there, smiling. "Are you okay, sweetie?" Jasmine asks in her gentle voice.

"You heard everything, didn't you?" Beth feels her cheeks going warm. She is such an idiot. This is so embarrassing.

"Yeah," Jimmy says quietly. "Sorry you and Lexi-Marie got into a fight."

"It's fine. Not the first time," Beth forces a smile.

"Do you need a ride home?" Jasmine asks softly and, without waiting for her answer, picks up some of her bags. Jimmy gets the rest.

"Yes. That would be wonderful."

She does take her bags from Jasmine and smiles, throwing a quick look at her pregnant belly. This time, it doesn't sting. She just sort of wishes she will have something like this one day.

The disappointment in her argument with Lexi-Marie doesn't go away though, and Beth ends up eating half a bowl of vanilla ice cream while watching YouTube videos with Ellen DeGeneres changing people's lives on her show.

By Friday morning, ignoring Lexi-Marie's calls and texts becomes routine. Beth still can't gather up her courage to tell her daddy about her decision not to go to college this year. In general, problems seem to accumulate around her, so she takes her promise to babysit Judith all day as an opportunity to extract herself from the epicenter of issues and just relax. It works. Judith is such a sweet baby that she calms Beth, filling her with confidence that maybe she can put her life together. One day.

Almost all day, Carl is upstairs, locked in his room, and when Beth knocks on his door asking if he would like something to eat, he silently, but with obvious unwillingness follows her to the kitchen. She makes him a sandwich and later some hot chocolate, and all the time Carl doesn't say a word apart from "thank you" and "yes" and "no". Beth's heart aches for this boy and as she watches him eat his lunch, she tries to think of something that can make him smile.

"It's your birthday soon, isn't it?" she remembers how much joy his birthday parties used to bring to their family. How Lori used to be a brilliant hostess, shining with happiness when her son was running around with other kids and having fun. "You're turning thirteen."

"Yeah," Carl says, staring at his unfinished sandwich. "Next Wednesday."

"Are you going to have a party?" Beth smiles down at him.

"No. Dad said we won't be celebrating this year."

"Why-"

"I think I'm full," he states placidly and looks up at Beth. "I'm going to go to my room. Thank you."

"Okay, sure," Beth nods and tries her best to smile as genuinely as possible.

When she is almost finished cleaning up after Carl, she hears the front door open and slam shut, and then Rick comes into the kitchen, with Daryl on his heels. Beth gives them both a smile and turns off the tap. She watches Daryl sit at the kitchen aisle, and Rick open the fridge, looking for a snack.

"You're early," she says.

"Yeah," Rick nods. "How is everything?"

"Fine," Beth smiles softly. "Carl seems upset though. I didn't know what to do to cheer him up."

"Well…"

The baby monitor goes off with Judy's cries, and Beth disappears to the nursery to quickly change her diaper. As soon as the baby is sound asleep again, Beth returns to the kitchen to continue cleaning up and finds Rick and Daryl in the middle of discussion.

"The kid's turning thirteen, Rick. You ought to celebrate somehow."

"He just lost his mother."

"Exactly. He needs distraction. To have fun."

"How do you know what he needs?"

Beth tells herself it's none of her business. That she is not part of this family, she is just a babysitter. But she can't stay quiet. Damn her big mouth.

She turns rashly and looks at Rick:

"After my mom died, I felt like life could never be the same again. And the only thing that helped was some sort of familiarity. Kids need stability, the feeling that things are normal again. Carl always used to have his birthday celebrated, so why change everything this time?" she says and immediately feels her cheeks heat up. For a few long moments of silence she wishes she would just shut up.

"She's right," Daryl suddenly says, and Beth is almost borne away by the feeling of relief. Thank you, Daryl. Thank you. "Carl needs to know some things in his life will stay the same."

Rick glances at Daryl, then at Beth, then back at Daryl. But Beth's eyes are just glued to Daryl's, and they smile at each other. Like there is some sort of secret between them. An inside joke. Mutual understanding.

"I don't know…" Rick trails and sighs heavily. "It all needs to be organized, and I've got to work."

"It doesn't have to be a huge party," Daryl says, furrowing his brows. "Just a gathering. With people he knows and likes."

"I can help," Beth offers, blushing fiercely. "And I can come and babysit Judith on the day," she shrugs and then quickly adds: "If you want."

Rick's lips twitch in a small smile.

"Sure. Why not?" he shrugs.

"So it's settled then," Daryl says and gives Beth a small wink, getting a huge smile in response.

When the time comes to feed Judith, Daryl volunteers to do it. Beth follows him to the nursery, and as he picks up the baby, she gives him the bottle with baby formula.

"Hold it like this," Beth tells him, adjusting the bottle. "Otherwise she gets gassy."

"Okay," he nods and cradles the baby. "You like that, sweetheart?" he says in such soft voice that Beth almost melts into a puddle right there and then.

Oh my God. She has no idea why, but the sight of Daryl holding tiny Judith in his massive bare arms is the hottest thing ever. Her heart jumps in her chest and hammers against her ribcage so loud Beth is pretty sure Daryl can hear it. But she doesn't care. As Daryl keeps feeding tiny little Judith, she can't take her eyes off him. More importantly, she doesn't want to.


	8. Be Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My enormous gratitude to the one and only _arrowsandangels _for betareading and helping me get through difficult moments of lack of inspiration or motivation to write anything at all. It's been tough, especially since all these talks of Daryl's possible death began. But even if Daryl dies or Beth never comes back (or both, God), I want to keep writing about Bethyl. These characters will be alive as long as we remember them.__
> 
> I have also set up a tumblr account - it's [lovewhomyouwill](http://lovewhomyouwill.tumblr.com/) \- and I hope to see you guys there!

**Chapter 8** \- Be Afraid

 

Rick wasn't lying when he said he had to work. Even in a small and peaceful town like Senoia, sheriffs don't get enough time with their family. Or just time off work for that matter.

So, true to her word, Beth starts organizing Carl's thirteenth birthday party. With Daryl's help because he's the only person Carl doesn't refuse to talk to and actually opens his bedroom door to let him in. They make a list of all guests, first adults and then kids whose parents they will need to call to let them know. They choose the date and time, making sure it suits as many people as possible and also leaves Beth enough time to bake the birthday cake with Lori's recipe.

Beth also notices how much Daryl loves Carl and Judy, even if he never openly states it. He cares about them, always careful and gentle with baby Judith, listening to Beth's advice on how to hold her or what to do when she won't stop crying. He seems to understand Carl's refusal to discuss his feelings with either Beth or Rick (and Beth has a pretty good idea why - Daryl lost his mother too) and never complains about his messenger role, just appears to be glad to help. He also doesn't judge, and that's what Beth likes about him the most. It's like he is one of the few people (if not the only one) who will never make her feel like she is stupid for feeling down. She can tell him things and be sure he won't make her regret trusting him.

As much as she loved Jimmy back when they were together, she never had that with him. Or anyone, for that matter. She always feels like she has to try and fit in. But not with Daryl.

Beth also realizes she's actually excited about Carl's party. She wants to see that boy happy, make him smile. Planning it and spending time with Daryl makes her smile too. Which Maggie seems to notice and frowns in confusion every time Beth starts singing when doing chores around the house, like she always used to, before… everything. She used to do a lot of things, actually, that she starts finding herself doing again. Waking up with her alarm, not an hour before it. Falling asleep feeling calm and ready for the next day as opposed to being afraid of what it might bring. Smiling at daddy a lot more. Experimenting with her cooking, and at the same time, returning to her mother's recipes - something she couldn't bring herself to do for two long years. She doesn't feel _good_ or even _fine_ , but for once in what feels like forever, it seems like she will one day.

"You seem… different," Maggie states one morning when she walks in on Beth singing while doing her makeup.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I like it," she smiles and walks off, leaving Beth startled. Mainly because, for once, Maggie seems to mind her own business. And that feels very unusual.

Beth goes back to applying concealer over a few pimples on her chin, and starts humming the same song again. Carl's party is in two days, and she needs to take a trip downtown to get him a present. Maybe she'll see Daryl there. She doesn't want to initiate anything in fear of annoying him, but the truth is she would love to see him. Even though they just spoke yesterday. That reminds her of his leather jacket that she is still keeping hidden in her wardrobe. The weather has been ridiculously hot lately, and Daryl must not really need it because he never mentions it and keeps wearing his favorite (at least it seems like it) vest with angel wings on it. Beth thinks she should still return it. Later.

She flies down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her daddy is there, eating his breakfast.

"Morning," Beth smiles at him and opens the fridge to get some milk.

"Mornin', Bethy. Are you still babysitting Judith on Sunday?"

"Yes, daddy. But only in the afternoon, for Carl's birthday party. I'll still be attending the service in the morning."

"How is that baby anyway?"

"She's great. The sweetest baby in the world," Beth smiles.

"Well I'm glad you are enjoying it. Maybe you'll get to be a pediatrician one day," her daddy says and returns to his food. Beth stands there, holding her bowl of cereal, unable to move. This is a perfect moment to tell him she doesn't want to do that anymore. She's practiced her arguments and explanations hundreds of times (even though it really comes down to one reason - she _doesn't want_ to do it), but right now she is terrified. What if her words disappoint him? What if he gives her one look that will make her hate herself? As she thinks of saying the words out loud, she feels a knot of panic appearing in her stomach. She is afraid.

But then, Beth remembers her mother's words. _Be afraid. And then do it anyway_.

She sits down across from her daddy. She takes a deep breath and sets the bowl on the table.

"I don't want to, daddy," she blurts out. Quietly, but with confidence.

Daddy's fork freezes an inch from his mouth. "What?"

"I don't want to be a doctor. Never wanted to," Beth takes a napkin and folds it nervously.

Hershel's face twists in confusion and he puts his fork down. "Bethy-"

"No, daddy. I know you think you know what's best for me, but I spent so much time trying to imagine myself doing medicine and I can't. Right now, just the thought of it makes me feel miserable." Beth looks at her nails.

"Bethy," Hershel repeats, and she glances at him. "I was just going to ask why you haven't told me earlier. I would never force you to spend your whole life doing something you know you won't enjoy," he gives her the kindest smile in the world and takes her hand. "You can be whatever you want to be, Doodlebug. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"What if I don't know what I want to be yet?" she shakes her head.

"You're just eighteen. You have plenty of time to find out," her daddy says and, after giving her another smile, returns to his food. And with that, Beth feels like the weight of the world has come off her shoulders. She feels free again.

* * *

Usually, baking is something Beth feels confident about. (Unlike many other things in her life.)

But not when it comes to Carl's birthday cake.

When the day comes and she delivers the cake to Grimes' house, she looks at a few picture from Carl's previous birthdays hanging on the wall. Compares her cake to those Lori holds, smiling brightly in a photo. And she wishes her attempts and efforts to help Carl feel better about his loss will work. At least a little bit.

As she sets the cake on the kitchen aisle, Daryl comes in, and Beth lets out a sigh of relief. He promised to be there early to help her set everything up, since Rick was working and would only be able to show up on time for the party (if they're lucky). As Daryl sees Beth, he gives her a small encouraging smile. That helps. A lot, actually. As Beth watches him come up to the aisle to stand next to her, she feels the tight knot in her stomach ease up a little. She has no idea _why_ his presence helps, but she'll take it.

"You alright?" he asks and stares at her with his intense gaze. The one that makes her cheeks heat up.

"Yes. Just nervous."

"Don't be," Daryl shrugs nonchalantly. "The kid loves you. And he's going to love the party too."

"I just want him to enjoy it, you know? He deserves to have some fun," she mumbles, looking down at the cake, but when she lifts her gaze, she sees him looking at her again. Giving her that _look_ she doesn't know what to call. He usually looks at her like that when she's holding Judith, so Beth always thought it was his affection for the baby. But right now, Judith is sleeping in her crib in the nursery, it's just the two of them, and he's got _that_ look. And she's never seen him look like that at anyone else.

She still has no idea what it means, but the fact that it's something just the two of them share makes her heart hammer against her ribcage with such force it suddenly becomes hard to breathe. And she can't stop looking at him. His eyes are like magnets she can't resist.

Beth suddenly wonders whether he likes what she looks like today. She chose one of her favorite dresses to wear - it's a white short sundress with small polka dots sprinkled everywhere. She also straightened her usually curly hair, which made it appear even longer. It almost reaches the small of her back. Does Daryl like her hair? She hopes he does.

Daryl is wearing his usual black jeans and that same leather vest on top of the shirt with the sleeves ripped off. It's very hot today, and she can see his impressively big and toned arms – _God, those arms…_ – shine with a light layer of sweat. She has been noticing a lot about his appearance lately. How his hair is too long and in a desperate need of a cut, but somehow suits him so well. How he always has a pack of cigarettes in the right pocket of his jeans. She's never seen him smoke so either he doesn't smoke around her or… he doesn't smoke at all. No, that's just weird. He probably just doesn't smoke around her. But why?

He also has a habit of biting his thumbnail when he's nervous or thinking hard. It's something Beth has seen him do a few times by now and she is not sure how she feels about it. She doesn't want him to be nervous around her, she wants him to be comfortable.

She realizes they are just full on staring at each other now, and somehow, she is completely fine with it.

There is a sudden slam of the door – Carl comes into the kitchen from the backyard – and they both jump, startled as if Carl's arrival interrupted something. _Ridiculous, right?_ Daryl immediately turns to look, and Beth tucks away a strand of hair in embarrassment. Daryl clears his throat.

"Hey, Carl."

"Hey," the boy answers, his eyes flicking between them. "I just… wanted to get some water."

"Sure, go on," Beth feels her face flush as she gestures towards the sink. _It's his house, for goodness' sake._ "Make sure to get ready. Your guests will be here in an hour."

"Fine," Carl shrugs, filling up a glass of water, and leaves the kitchen, leaving Beth and Daryl alone again.

Daryl clears his throat awkwardly as Beth's cheeks suddenly get hot.

"I… um… Should probably go and inflate some balloons," Daryl forces out and gestures to the door.

"Okay," Beth nods with an unnecessary enthusiasm. _Awkward_. "And I'll take care of all the food."

"Okay," Daryl adds and spins away to leave the kitchen.

Beth sighs and hides her face in her palms.

* * *

It seems to Beth that Carl's party is going well. The boy talks to people and closes his eyes to make a wish before blowing out the candles on the cake. The fact that he decides to make a wish at all tells Beth that he might not feel better now, but he's getting there. Kids are playing something similar to football in the backyard, adults are talking among themselves. Everything is going well.

"Hey, Beth," she hears and, turning around to look, sees Rick heading towards her across the yard.

"Hi, Rick," she gives him a smile. "Didn't know you were here already."

"Yeah, sorry for being late, had to stay behind at work," he shoves his hands into his jeans' pockets.

"That's fine," Beth shrugs and adjusts her hair. "I'm sure Carl understands. Someone needs to protect this town."

Rick smiles crookedly: "Yeah. I don't think he noticed I wasn't here." They both turn to look at Carl, who is about to pass the ball to one of his school friends. When he runs up to the table with drinks and takes a few greedy gulps of apple juice before running back to return to the game, Beth giggles. Rick looks at her again. "I can't thank you enough, Beth. I just wish you'd let me pay you."

Beth shakes her head immediately: "That's ridiculous. You don't pay Daryl when he helps you, do you? Friends help each other."

"Right," Rick nods, and something in his gaze changes. He looks at her differently. With more respect. "Friends."

"Yeah," Beth smiles.

"Rick!" someone calls out, and Beth turns her head to see Michonne – one of Rick's colleagues – waving at him.

"I'll talk to you later, Beth," Rick says, in a sudden hurry to walk off.

"Have fun," she says and smiles, watching him approach Michonne. They greet each other with a hug, and Beth's smile widens. "Thank you for coming…" she hears Rick say and stops listening. She just hopes Rick can be happy again.

Beth decides to check on Judith and leaves for the nursery. She finds the baby awake and in need of a clean diaper. She's surprised Judy has been able to sleep through all the kids' loud laughing and occasional shrieking in the backyard. The baby acts very calm, sucking her thumb and looking around curiously. Beth wonders what she sees.

She is almost done when someone touches her shoulder lightly: "Beth?"

Just that is enough to scare her. Mostly due to the fact that she was sure there was no one else in the nursery. So, she jumps in surprise, and her hand holding the bottle of baby powder flies up, sending a white wave over her shoulder.

Almost immediately, Beth turns around to see Daryl standing there, his face completely covered in white baby powder. It also crawls down his neck, and some of it is even on his shoulders. On his _black_ leather vest. He lifts his hand to wipe some of it off his face, and Beth is about to start apologizing, when she realizes how funny he looks. Intimidating and sometimes even scary Daryl Dixon, with his face covered in baby powder. She also realizes that nothing in the world can help her hold back the hysterical laughter, threatening to escape her lips. She covers her mouth with her hand, but she can't help it. It starts as a giggle, but in a few short moments becomes a real laugh, the kind that makes your cheeks and stomach hurt.

Beth notices that Daryl is trying to hold back a smile, but it's stubborn, and soon he is giving her a huge toothy grin that she is pretty sure she sees for the first time. He's never smiled like this. At least not at her.

"That's a lesson for you," Beth states when her laughter becomes a light giggle again. "Never scare a Greene."

"Got it," Daryl says and salutes her jokingly. He makes another attempt to rub off the white substance on his face, but it doesn't work – he just smears it around.

"Hold on," Beth quickly and easily finishes changing Judy's diaper and puts the baby in the crib. She then takes some baby wipes from the table and turns to face Daryl. "These help _a lot_."

She lifts her hand and gently starts wiping everything off his face. Daryl doesn't protest or move away, just freezes to his spot. It's only when Beth feels his breathing on her forehead that she realizes how close to each other they actually are. And for the second time today, Beth suddenly forgets how to breathe. How to do anything, but just stand there, looking him in the eyes, and feeling her heart bump with such force it might actually escape her chest. And realizing how much heat his body is radiating.

Her mouth suddenly feels very dry, and Beth doesn't even notice it when she quickly licks her lips – she just does it automatically. But she does notice when his gaze slides to her lips, and it becomes apparent to her that she's been looking at his lips for a few long moments already.

Just the thought of kissing him makes her feel _terrified_. Doing that would mean accepting that things have changed, that _she_ is ready to change. And she is not ready to accept that. She has no idea where any of it can lead, nothing about Daryl is safe or predictable or anything she is used to. But she wants to kiss him. _So bad_. And he wants to kiss her too, she knows. She feels it. It's not just her.

She suddenly remembers that anyone could come in any second, and that makes her feel brave enough to clear her throat and pull away.

"Done," she says, her voice breaking a little, and turns around to throw the tissue in the bin.

Judith is awake, and she is laying in her crib, watching them both with such openness and curiosity, that Beth gives her a big smile.

"Thank you," Daryl answers a few moments later.

"That's fine. It was my fault anyway," Beth giggles nervously, but not because she is worried about what Daryl will think. Mainly because of how strange the whole situation feels. Just two months ago she had no idea how much her life would change. And although letting Daryl into her heart completely can be reckless and just stupid, it promises so many new things, _wonderful_ and not, but new and fresh and different. She wants to know what it would feel like to have his lips on hers. To touch him in ways that are _much_ more than friendly. To know him like no one else does. To open up to him completely.

Beth wants all of that. She is just _afraid_.

* * *

When Beth drives down the dirt road leading to the farm, she is so tired she can't wait to be in bed. But of course, things don't always happen the way she wants them to.

When she sees a figure, sat on the porch steps, she isn't surprised. But not excited either.

After all, she knew that one day Lexi-Marie would get tired of calling and texting (being ignored completely) and try to talk to her like this. And it's Lexi. _Of course_ she would show up at her house unannounced.

Beth gets out of the car and shuts the door. As she approaches the porch, Lexi-Marie stands up, looking at Beth nervously, but Beth doesn't say a word and just takes a seat on the same step. So Lexi silently lowers herself down next to Beth.

"Are you okay?" Lexi asks.

Beth thinks about it for a moment. She wants to lie, like she always does when it comes to answering this particular question, but now she realizes she doesn't need to. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired," and it's true.

Lexi-Marie sighs quietly. "Look, Beth, I'm sorry. I have no idea what happened to me and why I acted like a middle school bitch, but I _am_ really sorry. I understand that drama is the last thing you need in your life."

Beth looks at her, and Lexi-Marie's face is twisted in worry. She _is_ sorry, she understands what she did was stupid. And that's all Beth needs. "Okay," she says, and when Lexi-Marie gives her a surprised look, as if she's expected to be forced to apologize further, Beth just shrugs.

"You seem different," she observes. "What happened to you last week?"

"A lot," in all honesty answers Beth.

"Has it got something to do with that leather-jacket-guy?"

"Oh my God, you're just impossible," Beth giggles and shakes her head. "Yes? _Maybe_. I don't know, if I'm honest."

"You like him, _a lot_. You know that much," Lexi-Marie shrugs. "What's stopping you?"

"I don't know…" Beth trails. "It's just… frightening."

"Well, do you remember when you were teaching me to swim, and I was scared to jump into the river? And you kept swimming around and saying that it's not about _not_ being afraid, it's about being afraid and doing it anyway. Or some philosophical shit like that. It's been more than twelve years, but I still remember. So, listen to your own advice. What have you got to lose?"

And no matter how convincing her own arguments felt a few hours ago, right now, Beth can't help but think that maybe Lexi-Marie is right. Just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and please review!


	9. Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize to those of you who got notified of me posting a new one shot from OCaBG series and haven't found the actual story. I will be bringing it back, I just need to work on it a little more.
> 
> I just have to say that although the show keeps disappointing me, and I will only watch the finale once I learn whether Daryl died or not (because I don't want me watching his death affecting my writing), I don't think I'll stop writing Bethyl. I rarely find ships that I love so much, so this one is going to last. I've said that already, I think, but.
> 
> Also, I thank again my brilliant beta ( _arrowsandangels_ ) because she's the best. Thank you for doing so much for me.
> 
> This chapter was... hard to write, let's just say. Enjoy.

 

 **Chapter 9** \- Discoveries

 

When Beth wakes up that morning, she doesn't feel like getting up. It seems like she might actually want to sleep in – for the first time in a while – so she lays there, surrounded by freshly changed bedding that smells like violets. Reminding her of her mom – that's how her hugs always used to smell – and she closes her eyes and lets memories flood her brain.

Memories of times when Beth didn't need to set an alarm because mom would be there to wake her up for school. Of times when Annette would tell Shawn off for leaving his toy cars everywhere and have him pick them up, while Beth and Maggie would giggle, standing on the top of the staircase. Of that one time when their dryer broke down, and Annette had to hang wet clothes and bedding on a string outside. How Shawn stole one of the white sheets and, pretending to be a ghost, tried to spook Beth. Didn't really work, but got him in trouble. She just now realizes that her parents mostly took her side in the arguments, always telling Shawn and Maggie that she was the youngest and needed to be protected. But now, she wouldn't even care about Shawn's constant stupid jokes and protectiveness if that meant he was still alive. Too sad it doesn't work that way.

Memories like that are never easy, they're painful. The pain is acute and strong, making it hard to breathe, and her heart tightens in her chest. But they also make her smile. Those were good times. The best even. And maybe, one day she'll have something vaguely similar.

It's thoughts of Daryl that make her heart beat faster because of possibilities. Of good moments that are yet to come, things that can happen if she works for them. And that feels so fresh and encouraging – she hasn't felt this way for a long time – that she realizes she wants to make sure she doesn't lose her chance with Daryl. She'd rather try and fail than not try at all. Because doing nothing won't help. Nothing will come of nothing.

She thinks of the moment they shared in the nursery. How short and innocent it was and small on the grand scale of things. (Lexi-Marie would probably even laugh at that, she rarely has relationships that don't start in bed.) But somehow for Beth it seems like the most important moment in the world. But it's difficult. She has no idea what Daryl's perception of what happened was. Maybe he thought she didn't want to kiss him, that his feelings aren't reciprocated. _You like her_. Rick's words sound loud and clear in her head, and she shivers, turning in bed abruptly. He must know he's not alone in this. If he doesn't, Beth is the biggest idiot in the world. She should tell him. Or not _tell him_ – because God that's terrifying – but let him know somehow. Beth wants him to know.

Maybe she should see him? The idea is sudden, and Beth flies into a sitting position. She realizes they've never spent time together somewhere that isn't Rick's house or the forest. And spending more time with Daryl sounds wonderful. Beth falls back, bouncing against the mattress, her hair flying everywhere and decides she will do just that. Because it's not like Daryl is going to make a move. Definitely not. From what she's learned about Daryl so far, he is either completely clueless, or just really shy. Maybe even both.

She does get up eventually. Things need to be done around the farm. But for some reason, after realizing that good times are not over, they are yet to come, it's a little easier to breathe. Just a little bit.

* * *

Already standing in the parking lot of the diner while locking her car, Beth still doesn't know how she feels about showing up at Daryl's work. Well, she knows she wants to, but she isn't sure how Daryl will take it, so she has no idea where this will go.

It's ridiculous, actually. She's lived in this town her whole life, and she walked past the garage at least a thousand times, and she should feel confident, but she doesn't. Somehow, bumping into Daryl and spending time with him that way is completely different to her trying to see him. But she wants to. Badly. And that scares her.

She remembers her mom's advice and tells herself that you should do what you're most afraid of. And, although it scares the crap out of her, she wants Daryl to know she _wants_ to see him. So she's going to do it.

The garage looks quite ordinary, and Beth suddenly wonders if it's because there is really nothing unusual to it or she is just used to seeing it every day. After all, she's been to the diner across the street so many times she lost count. However, the fact that she is about to see Daryl gives her butterflies. Nothing unusual about that.

As Beth walks across the street, for the first time in her life she notices what the garage _actually_ looks like. How old the big _Joe's Auto Repairs_ sign looks; red paint chipped and continuously layering off the letters. Beth has never been here and, as far as she knows, daddy never takes their car there for repairs. He does it himself or with Otis' help.

There is small reception office, and Beth heads inside. She doesn't find herself brave enough to startle Daryl by coming up to the car he could be fixing right now, making him bump his head or something. After all, she is pretty sure, her visiting like this is the last thing he expects.

It's lunch time, so the office is pretty empty; it's small, very dusty, and it certainly feels like there's not enough oxygen. The two chairs by the wall on her right look old, and the computer on the desk is clearly outdated by at least a decade. She takes a few steps closer and sees a boy behind the screen. She knows him, it's Duane, one of Carl Grimes' friends, and Beth is pretty sure she remembers him from Carl's birthday party. He was one of the loud ones.

Duane doesn't notice her, he is practically _possessed_ by the computer game he is playing – which is obvious despite it being mute – with his eyes wide and mouth falling open with concentration. Standing there quietly becomes awkward, so Beth lets out a small cough, announcing her presence. That almost makes Duane jump, and the boy quickly glances at her, his eyes widening even more.

"Beth, right?" he asks, and Beth nods, taking a few steps closer. She smiles, trying to make it clear to him that he's not busted. In all honesty, she doesn't really care, and she wouldn't want to put get him in any sort of trouble, anyway.

"Hi, Duane. Is this your summer job?"

"Yeah, dad wanted me to learn more about responsibility," he frowns and scratches the back of his head. "I was just… Can I help you?" the boy stutters out.

"Yes, I actually wanted to see Daryl Dixon? He should be working today," she smiles, clearly feeling blush spreading across her cheeks. Why does she always have to blush when she mentions Daryl to anyone?

Duane lightens up. "Yeah, he's here. I can tell him you're here or you can just go in."

Beth shrugs, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. "Either will do," she states, silently praying he will bring Daryl out because coming in and letting other mechanics see they are friends would put both of them in a position far from comfortable.

"Sure. I'll let him know you're here," Duane nods and begins to stand up, when Beth speaks up again.

"Don't tell him it's me, just say he's got a visitor," she mumbles, probably sounding like a complete idiot and giving herself away. Whatever. She wants it to be a surprise. (Desperately hoping he'll consider it a nice one.)

"Alright," Duane clicks with the mouse a few times, obviously covering his tracks, and stands up. "Be back in a minute."

"Alright," Beth repeats after him, smoothing out non-existent folds on her light jean shorts. She hopes Daryl will like her like this. She's chosen to wear short shorts and a tank top that's baby pink and white flowers all over it, and when Beth was leaving the farm, Maggie said she looked lovely. She wonders if anyone would actually find her hot, not just pretty or lovely – something she's been told enough times in her life. Her baby-looking face is one of her deepest insecurities, and she really hopes Daryl doesn't think she's a kid.

Her phone buzzes, startling her for a second, and she looks at the screen. Maggie is going on a date and needs to borrow her silver clutch. Sure, why not? Beth shrugs, even though Maggie can't see her, and quickly types her response, wishing Maggie to have a good time with Glenn. Maggie didn't specify, but of course it will be Glenn. Maggie's dated around during high school, but in college she met Glenn, and since then it's only been him. Beth never even heard her mention another guy. And she's happy that Maggie is happy. Her sister deserves someone like that in her life.

Beth puts her phone away and folds her arms, tapping her foot nervously. Remembering that folded arms express detachment in body language, she disentangles her arms and tries to quickly fix her hair, simultaneously making sure her foot stops tapping against the floor.

Duane really is back within a minute or two, and Daryl follows him into the office, wiping his hands on the red rag from his back pocket. The one she picked up the day the met. Well, not met, but _met_.

"Beth?" he asks, sounding a little more surprised than she expected him to be. He stops a few feet away, his hands falling to his sides.

Duane doesn't pay any attention to them and takes his seat behind the desk, immediately diving back into the game. Beth is somehow relieved by that.

"Hi," she says to Daryl, giving him a bright smile and a small wave of a hand.

"What are you doing here?" Daryl puts the rag back into the pocket and takes a few steps towards her.

"Just wanted to see you." It takes Beth all the strength in the world to shrug, trying to seem relaxed, when really her heart is tap-dancing inside her chest. She just hopes her breathing doesn't sound shallow because that would just be embarrassing. "You know, somewhere besides Rick's kitchen," Beth jokes and keeps smiling, praying for him to take this normally.

Daryl looks at her for a few seconds and then chuckles softly, a smile blooming on his lips. "Yeah."

Oddly enough, that reaction only fastens her heartbeat. _God_.

She takes a deep breath. "Would you…" she startles a little and swallows quickly. "Would you like to get lunch?"

"With you?"

"Yes, with me."

He doesn't respond for a few seconds that feel like endless hours, and Beth is just about to feel uncomfortable, when Daryl smiles at her and nods. "Sure. You mind waitin' outside for a minute?"

"Yeah," Beth says and turns to leave.

"Bye, Beth," Duane calls at her, and she gives him a small wave.

"See you later, Duane."

Beth shuts the office door behind her, greedily breathing in the hot but fresh air of the outdoors. She realizes that Daryl smiles a lot around her now, even though he didn't use to, and the fact that it's something in her that makes him feel happy or comfortable sends shivers down her spine. She leans against the wall, getting her phone out and scrolling through the latest texts. Daddy always says it's a terrible habit – being on her phone constantly, especially when it's her way of entertaining herself, but Beth feels like she needs to keep her hands busy with something or she might start biting her nails. Which is a much worse habit.

The door slams shut, making Beth jump slightly, and she looks up to see Daryl looking at her attentively. He always does. It usually feels like he's trying to read her like a book. Another one of the things he does that literally make shiver.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah. Where do you want to go?" Beth tries to adjust her cardigan that keeps sliding off her shoulder. She notices Daryl's gaze linger there, where her skin is exposed. It feels like he looks only for a split second, but that's enough for her to struggle to breathe again. And when he gives her _that_ look, the one that he never gives anyone else – _she's pretty sure about that_ – she feels warmth and tingles spread in her chest, travelling lower, and concentrating somewhere deep in her belly.

"Wherever you wanna go," he shrugs, blush creeping up his cheeks, and it hits Beth – he knows. He _knows_ how she feels about him – or at least he guessed – and he is fine with it. Seems to be, anyway. Truth be told, Beth doesn't know if she should be happy about it or worried.

"Well, considering the endless amount of options we have-" Beth starts, and Daryl chuckles softly, causing a big and bright smile appear on her face, "-it's either the diner or coffee shop." She looks at him, hesitating. "Should we go to the diner? It's the closest," she informs, as if he doesn't know that already.

"If you want."

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Beth is fairly certain she is taking a risk, reaching for Daryl's hand, but she does it anyway. Daryl used to have issues with physical contact – especially when it came to her, she's sure, since he never has a problem with hugging Rick or holding Judith – but he seems to have come around. So, when she takes his hand (for the first time, ever), she feels him stiffen at first, and her heart almost stops beating. But then, he relaxes a little and intertwines his fingers with hers. She loosens up a bit as well, feeling a lot braver than before, and starts to pull on him to the diner.

"Come on," she says. "We might be able to get our booth."

"Our booth?" he repeats, raising his eyebrows, but unable to hide a smile as he obediently starts to follow her across the road.

"Yeah. Our booth," Beth grins at him, that same warm feeling in her chest present again. "You know, where we sat together, and you were all quiet and grumpy and brooding, and I was talking non-stop? That one."

"Oh yeah?" Daryl chuckles, and Beth giggles.

"Yeah. Imagine how much more fun it will be this time. Now that you are actually talking to me," she smiles at him.

"Right. I guess it could be fun. You ain't the worst company in the world."

"Daryl Dixon, did you just make a joke?" Beth exclaims, covering her mouth with her free hand. Butterflies in her belly get a lot stronger when Daryl gives her a small smile with the corner of his lips and shrugs. They near the diner, and Beth pushes the door open. "Come on. How long is your lunch break?"

"Just a half-hour."

"Alright."

While they walk over to their booth and sit down across from each other, Beth doesn't even realize she's a humming softly until she notices Daryl looking at her with an intense gaze. She blushes fiercely (again) and returns his stare.

"What?"

"Nothin'," he shrugs again. "You got a nice voice."

"Thank you. My mom and I used to sing all the time back when she was alive. I've only now started to return to it, for some reason," Beth smiles and it becomes apparent to her how much she's been smiling in the past five minutes. And it's all just from being around Daryl. "So," she trails off, starting to look through the menu, "how was your week? We haven't talked since Carl's party."

"Was fine. Nothin' special happened," his eyes are glued to the menu and Beth takes a moment to just look at him without him noticing. He looks like he always does (hot), and there is something about this carelessness in his appearance that she finds oddly appealing. The way his messy and too long hair makes him even hotter. Or the leather vest that exposes his arms – _those arms_ – and adds to the whole 'bad boy' exterior. Beth smiles at that thought. Despite his looks, he is nothing like that. She might not know a lot about him, but she knows he'll never do something to disrespect her or offend her. He is so much better of a person than what people in Senoia think he is.

Beth is so busy staring at Daryl that when he says something, she misses it.

"Sorry, what?" she blinks, looking up at his face again and seeing him smirk. Like he knows what she's been doing. And despite that smirk, there is some blush showing on his cheeks. Daryl Dixon being shy when someone's looking at him. Who would've ever thought?

"I asked how your friend was," he clears his throat, a little awkward. "The one-"

"Who you picked me up with?" Daryl nods, and Beth continues. "Yeah, she's… fine. Sort of. No matter how many times I asked her to call police or at least talk to Rick, she refuses. But she seems better. Haven't heard of her interacting with that ex-boyfriend of hers."

Daryl shrugs, obviously trying very hard to seem indifferent. Beth knows that he's bothered by this situation. Even if it has nothing to do with him. And she thinks she can see why. Although, of course, she would never be able to fully understand his feelings about things like that.

"Her choice to make," he finally says, letting his gaze slide back to the menu.

The waitress comes up with a big smile, and Beth can't help but notice how much colder it grows when the woman looks at Daryl. Beth also notices him stiffen and remain tense right until the moment when the waitress leaves with their orders. It's like he's expecting her to make some sort of comment or insult him. Or maybe both. But when the waitress does leave, Daryl immediately relaxes, and the realization of how special this thing between them – assuming it _does_ exist, and not just in her imagination – makes her want to gasp. Or hug him. Or kiss him. Or maybe even everything at once. Because there is only a handful of people who Daryl is relaxed around. The Grimes family, probably his brother Merle, and Beth. She realizes she might actually be important to him, and with that, a big smile blooms on her face, which Daryl doesn't hesitate to return.

"I still have that leather jacket you forgot in Lexi-Marie's living room, by the way," she giggles. "Might have to return it one day."

"Nah," Daryl says, folding his arms on the table. "Keep it."

"I will," Beth smiles smugly. "For now. You never know."

* * *

The thirty minutes they spend together in the diner fly by, and soon they leave, holding hands again. This time Daryl is the one who initiates it, and Beth doesn't protest in the slightest, enjoying the warm tingling in her palm that returns as soon as they their fingers touch.

They stop at the diner's steps.

"I should go home now," Beth says, feeling Daryl trace his thumb over the back of her hand, which sends shivers down her spine. "I'll see-"

"I'll walk you to your car," he suddenly says, and Beth smiles up at him.

She looks at her bare left wrist and pouts mockingly. "Don't you have to be back at work? Like… now?"

"I can be five minutes late," he smirks.

"Alright," Beth says, her smile brightening, and leads the way to her car. It's a little behind the diner, where she always parks. Not that there's any lack of parking spaces in Senoia.

When they almost reach the car, Beth stops and, turning around, wraps her arms around his middle, cuddling up into his chest, her head tucked under his chin. They fit like pieces of a puzzle. So soft and warm and natural. His heart thrums in his chest loudly when he freezes for a moment, startled, but quickly relaxes, and Beth feels him return the hug. It's hesitant and a little awkward, but she wouldn't have it any other way. Because it's Daryl.

"Thank you for doing this with me," she says quietly, her lips moving against the leather of his vest.

Daryl's chuckle is so soft she feels it rather than hears. "Told ya, girl. You ain't the worst company in the world," and he tugs on her ponytail lightly and good-naturedly.

When she pulls away from him, she almost feels his reluctance. "See you later?" she asks, reaching in the back pocket of her shorts to find her car keys.

Daryl nods, and Beth walks up to her car, when she hears him say, "Beth?"

"Yes?" she turns, looking at him in surprise.

"Would you want to…" he stutters a little, and it's so adorable it causes a weird sinking feeling in her stomach. Daryl Dixon – adorable. She never thought it would make so much sense. "Do something together?"

Beth grins. "Like a date?"

"Yeah," Daryl says, looking her right in the eyes. Despite anything, Beth sees how worried he is. There is a genuine fear of rejection there. So she lets out a bright smile and nods, without keeping him waiting for her response.

"I would love to go on a date with you, Daryl," she says, suddenly feeling oddly shy, and looks down as her fingers fumble with the keys. Beth practically forces herself to look up and smile at him again, so that Daryl doesn't think she has any doubts. And she means it. "Text me the details, okay?"

He nods. "See ya, Beth."

"Alright," she turns around again, opening the door, when a sudden idea hits her. _Do what you're most afraid of_ , she tells herself as she looks back at Daryl, who is already spinning away to leave. "Daryl?" he stops and looks at her. "One more thing."

He frowns in confusion as she shuts the door and strides towards him, her heart thrumming away in her chest, threatening to break the ribcage. What she is about to do scares the crap out of her, but she ignores the fear. Beth stops right in front of him, placing her palm on his cheek and leaning in to press her lips to his. The first touch sends a wave of electricity all over her body, and Daryl freezes for a moment. Beth is about to withdraw – she only intended the kiss to be short – when he suddenly starts returning the pressure and wraps his arms around the small of her back, pulling her closer to his chest.

The kiss gets more intense, and at some point Beth thinks that it's a good thing that Daryl is holding her so firmly because otherwise she would've melted into a puddle by now. At the hot feeling of his tongue grazing hers, she lets out a moan that was building up inside her since the moment their lips met for the first time. Beth suddenly remembers kissing Jimmy. It was never unpleasant, always nice and even gave her tingles, but never, _never_ felt so… intense and real and _hot_. _God, so hot_. So she refuses to pull away from Daryl – maybe just for a second because they need to breathe from time to time – and she relishes in the feeling. Or, rather, feeling _s_. There is a lot of them. She only realizes it now, but she feelsso much for Daryl Dixon.

By the time they do separate, her lips almost hurt, and her hands are trembling.

"Oh God," she whispers, palming her forehead, feeling light-headed.

Daryl is still holding her, his hands warm and heavy on her waist. "Yeah," he trails.

"I- We-" she tries to speak, but her tongue fails her, suddenly too soft to say anything coherent. Daryl chuckles, his eyes hazy. "Shut up," mumbles Beth, unable to hide a big smile, her lips still trembling. Beth clears her throat. "I'll see you later."

"Drive safe," Daryl says and smirks, watching her try to find the right key with her hands shaking.

Beth lets out a happy giggle, finally finding the right one. "Thanks, jerk."

Daryl full on laughs at that, filling Beth's heart with a lightness and joy she can't remember experiencing in a long time. She waves at Daryl one last time and gets in the car, hoping she can actually drive. Because she feels like she's run a mile. And that hot feeling low in her belly is still there.

* * *

The house is quiet, and Beth remembers that daddy and Otis were going to fix one of the broken trucks. Maggie should still be home though, and Beth takes her boots off, leaving them by the door.

"Maggie?" she shouts out, hoping her sister will hear her in their big house. "Where are you?"

The only answer she gets is silence, so Beth guesses she might be in the bathroom, doing her makeup or just getting ready for the date. She runs up the stairs, jumping happily. Her heart is still singing, and she can't wait to see Daryl again. Even though it's only been five minutes or so.

Beth almost heads for the bathroom when she notices that her bedroom door is open, so she peaks in, and what she sees makes her heart sink. Maggie is sitting on the bed, her arms folded, the silver clutch she asked to borrow in her lap, and Daryl's black leather jacket is lying next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Make sure you check out the profile of the girl who made the cover for this fic. The link is on my tumblr. (lovewhomyouwill.tumblr.com)


	10. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to apologize for a huge hiatus. I've only sat my last exam on Friday (after the two months of torture!), and I literally spent this weekend sleeping off the stress, shopping and reading fanfiction aka catching up with everything I've missed while I was gone. I already have the next chapter planned and started, so it will be posted in a few days.
> 
> As always, great thanks to my beta for making this mess readable. Only good things come out of our little tandem! :)
> 
> This chapter is not necessarily heavy on Bethyl, but is very important in terms of the whole plot. The next one will have more bethyl encounters, I promise.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy.

Beth tells herself to stay calm, not to panic, as she steps into the bedroom that suddenly doesn't feel like hers anymore. Her first thought is to turn around, _run_ , and never look back because Maggie is bossy and possessive as it is, so God knows what she will do or say if… _when_ she finds out who that jacket belongs to. Come to think of it, Maggie's always been like that. She always felt the need to tell Beth what to do, even when it came to small things, such as forcing her to wear a scarf when it's windy or Beth's nail polish being too bright for school. But things have been changing lately. Maggie's been supporting Beth, told her she likes her being happy, and even covered for her so that she could go to Lexi-Marie's party.

That's why Beth stays where she is, even though it's really hard not to squirm under her sister's scrutinizing gaze. This thing going on between her and Daryl, she doesn't want it to be some sort of big secret. She doesn't want Daryl to think she's ashamed of feeling something for him – because she isn't and she never would be. If people in this town don't see how wonderful he really is, it's their fault, not Daryl's. And she wants to share things with her sister because she hasn't got a lot of family left, and those she has she loves more than anything. She wants to tell Maggie how great Daryl is, how happy and good he makes her feel, and how he is nothing like what people think he is.

So she steps closer to the bed and lowers herself onto the mattress, listening to the springs creak slightly under her weight. She skims the fluffy comforter with her hand, as if trying to hold onto something to gather the last remainders of courage within her. It's quite ridiculous, actually. She shouldn't be afraid of her own sister.

"Please, don't freak out," Beth says quietly, but firmly, and Maggie shoots her a glare.

"Oh, I'm _so_ past freaking out now," she states, folding her arms and staring Beth down.

"I can explain," she raises her hands, as if Maggie is some sort of skittish animal that needs to be tiptoed around.

"Feel free to start explaining."

Beth peers into the carpet, trying not to feel intimidated. Maggie's her sister, it's not like she's some kind of tyrant that is interested in making her life miserable. _Even if sometimes it feels like it._ Beth immediately scolds herself for such thoughts. Maggie does these things out of love.

"Alright." Beth shuffles in her seat a little, simultaneously taking a deep breath to concentrate and stay calm. "There is this guy. We met after my graduation. Not that we didn't know each other before," she corrects herself, but Maggie watches her silently, so Beth continues: "We'd never spoken to each other before, you could say that. And he's just… he's just amazing, Maggie. We always have something to talk about, he understands me – at least that's what it feels like – and I like him so, _so_ much." Beth goes quiet, not sure about Maggie's reaction. She seems concentrated, and it's like she's really listening – something she hasn't been doing a lot since after mom and Shawn died. That part of Beth that always has some hope makes her think that maybe it's going to be fine. Maybe Maggie won't make a scandal out of this.

"Is that why you've been so happy lately?" Maggie asks, and her eyes seem to soften. At the sight of that, Beth wants to sigh with relief, but stops herself before giving Maggie more reasons to be pissed off.

"Partly," Beth nods, but her sister is obviously not satisfied with her answer because she raises an eyebrow. "Well, you know, it's a lot of things. I've gotten better with Lexi, and Jimmy's girlfriend is actually pretty nice, and then there's… _him_ ," she stops herself from saying his name.

Maggie sighs. "Do _I_ know him?"

Beth looks down at her hands. "Well, you certainly know _of_ him," she mumbles. "It's a small town, after all," she gives her sister a nervous smile.

Maggie sighs again, but doesn't say anything, simply looking at Beth carefully for a few moments.

"Would it really be the worst thing in the world?" Beth suddenly asks. "If I met someone who would be important to me?"

An expression of guilt washes over Maggie's face. "It's not that, Bethy."

"Well, what is it, then?" Beth folds her arms, getting annoyed herself. "Because you sure make it too big of a deal, and honestly, it's getting ridiculous."

"It's the sneaking around that I'm not okay with!" Maggie exclaims and picks up the jacket, shaking it in the air. "Dating a biker? Seriously? Can you imagine what daddy's going to say?"

"He's not a biker!" Beth says forcefully and frowns. "He has a bike, that's all. But he's not part of some sort of bikers' club or anything."

Maggie relaxes a bit at those words. "Alright," she huffs. "But you don't need to hide anything from me."

"No, you don't understand, do you? This," she gestures between the both of them, "is exactly why I hide things from you. You try to act like my mom and always overreact."

"That's not true," Maggie tries to argue, but Beth rises an eyebrow sarcastically, and she sighs. "Maybe a little."

"A little?" Beth throws her hands in the air in exasperation. "You almost strangled me with your control after… everything," she finishes in a lowered tone, suddenly uncomfortable again and having lost all of her enthusiasm.

"You're exaggerating."

"Am I, Maggie? Think about it. Weren't you the one who said I needed some time at home after mom died? Didn't you say I should concentrate on studies and stop caring what others think about me? I've never felt more alone than in the last two years." Beth realizes she might be harsh, but she feels like this is something she should've said a long time ago. She's tired being that quiet perfect little girl, she wants to be able to speak up and know that her opinion will be respected.

Maggie's face changes again, and Beth almost feels victorious. It's like she's gotten through to her. For the first time in years.

"I'm sorry," Maggie says quietly. "And I promise not to push you anymore," Beth gives her a questioning look, and Maggie smiles, "at least not as much. But please, Beth. Don't hide things from me. We've always shared everything, and I hate it when there are secrets between us. Alright?"

Beth smiles softly. They used to be truly best friends before their family tragedy. Beth suddenly finds herself remembering those evenings they spent in the kitchen together, with hot chocolate and fresh school gossip. She really misses that and that doesn't surprise her. No matter how pissed off she might be, Maggie is one of the most important people in her life. That's not something you can just throw away. Or even want to risk.

"Alright," Beth smiles and gives her a nod. Maggie squeaks with happiness, and suddenly jumps towards Beth, hugging her tightly. In her sister's arms, Beth lets out a deep sigh and relaxes. She can go to parties with Lexi-Marie all she wants, but nothing can be as important her and Maggie's friendship. Beth just seemed to have forgotten that lately.

Their relationship has always been like this. They'd argue, slam their doors at each other, and then move and speak an hour later, like nothing happened. They didn't use to apologise, but this time Beth is happy Maggie did. It means a lot, and Beth hopes Maggie knows that.

When they part, Beth frowns jokingly: "You won't tell anyone, right? Everything's is just starting out, and I don't want things to blow up just because people can't stay out of our business."

Maggie nods and salutes her with a smile: "That's a promise."

"And don't tell daddy," Beth says and bites her lip.

"Beth!" Maggie exclaims.

"I'll tell him, I promise. I just need to wait until things are certain and actually find an appropriate moment," she does her best to put on her begging expression to help her convince Maggie. Or at least guilt trip her into it.

Maggie eyes her suspiciously for a moment, but nods hesitantly. "I guess. It's not my place to say anyway."

"Since when does that stop you?" Beth giggles.

"Are you testing my patience?" Maggie nudges her with an elbow.

"Maybe just a little."

"Alright," Maggie gets up and hands Beth Daryl's jacket. "This is yours. Sort of," she corrects herself, and Beth giggles again. She almost walks out of the door, but stops and turns to look at Beth again. "Are you going to tell me who he is?"

"I'll think about it," Beth replies with a grin, and Maggie smiles in return. "Don't tell daddy!" Beth shouts to her as Maggie leaves her room, as a reminder. When Maggie shuts the door, Beth falls back, bouncing on the mattress.

* * *

Beth spends the next hour reading. Well, at least trying to, because she can't seem to concentrate, reading and re-reading the same lines time after time, none of it actually staying in her head. All because she can't stop thinking about Daryl. When will he text? Tonight? Or, maybe, tomorrow? Surely, he wouldn't be texting right away, he wouldn't want to seem desperate. Is it desperate of her to think so much about his text? Especially one that hasn't even arrived yet? And if (no, _when_ ) he does text, how soon should she reply? Should she wait a few minutes, playing hard to get? Do guys like girls that are busy and takes ages to respond? Would _Daryl_ like someone like that?

Beth shakes her head, realizing how silly it is to torture herself with all these thoughts, and gives up on reading. She leaves the book on her nightstand and decides to go downstairs for a glass of water.

Daddy is already at home, and he is sitting at the table in the kitchen, filling out some bills.

"Hi, daddy."

"Evening, Bethy," he replies, only lifting his head to give her a small smile and immediately returning to his papers.

Beth walks up to the sink, where Maggie is mixing some batter in a large bowl. Beth gets herself a glass of water and looks at Maggie.

"What's that for?" she asks.

"It's Glenn's birthday tomorrow," Maggie raises her eyebrows incredulously. "Can't believe you forgot about it."

"Right," Beth nods. "I haven't forgotten, I just…"

"Did you also forget about the dinner?" Maggie gives Beth the kind of "no bullshit" look. "Tomorrow? At the restaurant?"

"Right," repeats Beth stupidly, wondering how she could forget all of this. That's not like her at all. "At Outback Steakhouse?" she makes an educated guess, since it's the only big-chain restaurant in Senoia, and Glenn's birthday dinner definitely wouldn't be held at the local diner.

"Yes, seven o'clock," Maggie rolls her eyes, obviously not buying Beth "remembering" it. "Glenn's sisters will be there too, so make sure you're not late. That applies to you too, daddy," Maggie turns her head to look at Hershel, and he simply nods.

Beth finishes her glass of water and sets it next to the sink. She turns, leaning against the counter and folding her hands as she watches Maggie mix the cake batter with such force and precision that her wrist must be hurting.

"What kind of cake are you making?" she asks curiously.

"Chocolate, strawberry and caramel," Maggie responds, almost groaning from the effort of mixing all the ingredients together.

"Sounds… like diabetes," Beth says, and is rewarded with Maggie's angry stare. She giggles, "No, I'm joking, it sounds great," she keeps watching her sister struggle; the ingredients don't seem to blend well. "Have you tried using a food processor?" she asks.

"We have one?" Maggie raises her eyebrows in shock.

Beth giggles again; no wonder Maggie doesn't know, it's probably her first time baking something. "Yeah, it's in the cupboard."

Maggie looks around, obviously lost as to which specific cupboard she means, and Beth rolls her eyes. "Never mind."

She gets a chair and stands on it to reach the top cupboard. She fishes out a large white food processor that has been gathering dust ever since… well, since their mom died.

"Here you go," she sets it on the table in front of Maggie and watches as Maggie struggles to find the right setting and splashes some batter on the table.

When Beth giggles again, daddy, all the while sitting at the table and working on the bills silently, lifts his head. "You're in a good mood, Bethy," he comments.

Beth smiles. "Yes, it's all good," she surprises everyone and even herself with those words. She didn't think she'd ever say or even think something like that again.

Daddy seems to want to comment, but he doesn't get the chance – Beth's phone buzzes in her back pocket, and she instantly grabs it, her first thought that _maybe it's Daryl_. But it's not, it's from Lexi-Marie. _Are you up for another party?_

Beth shakes her head and drops her phone onto the counter with a little extra force, annoyed with herself for being so stupid and desperate. She lifts her head and realizes everyone's staring at her: Maggie rolls her eyes with exasperation, as if telling Beth that she's being ridiculously obvious. Daddy looks at her with sudden interest and concern.

"Are you alright, Bethy?" he asks, putting his pen down.

"Yeah, I'm fine, daddy," she responds, but he keeps looking at her, obviously waiting for further explanations. "I'm waiting for an important… email, and this one was just a Facebook notification. I got annoyed," she explains, feeling terrible about lying to her father. But just the thought of telling him about Daryl fills her with genuine terror. She'll tell him, one day. If Daryl ever texts…

Her phone buzzes again, and Beth takes it slower this time, trying to stay calm as she grows excited. Again, it's Lexi-Marie, now on Snapchat. Beth opens the app and Lexi-Marie's snap, and looks at the picture of her in the middle of doing her makeup with a pout on her face. _Why are you ignoring me?_

Beth sighs. Lexi is one of those people who don't wait a second to respond. She once even said to Beth, "I have my phone in my hand 24/7. If I'm not responding, I'm probably ignoring you." Beth only laughed and said that not everyone was like that, but Lexi gave her a look and told her to wake up and realize she lived in the twenty-first century.

"It's Lexi-Marie. I'll talk to her from the living room," she announces and exits the kitchen, leaving Maggie to her cake and daddy with his bills.

Lexi-Marie picks up straight away. "Hi! Why did you ignore my text?" she asks in whiny tone, but Beth knows she isn't serious.

"Another party? Seriously?" Beth says, plopping onto the sofa. "No offence, but I didn't exactly find your party _that_ fun to want to repeat it."

"First of all, how dare you?" Lexi-Marie huffs out a breath, and Beth giggles. "And secondly, this one isn't mine. It's Jenny's."

"Jenny's as in Jenny Grey?" Beth abruptly changes her sitting position from relaxed to straight. "The one who hated me all through high school? And you too, by the way?"

"Yeah, she isn't that great of a person, but she always has the best parties. With chocolate fountains and chairs draped with glittery fabric. Like Blair Waldorf kind of parties," she pauses for a second. "Ew. This foundation ain't worth a crap."

"Blair Waldorf wouldn't have glittery chairs…" Beth tries to argue, ignoring her latter comment. She is suddenly struck with a memory of them both spending Saturday afternoons binge-watching _Gossip Girl_. Lexi-Marie always loved the show, Beth found it a little… overly-sophisticated.

"That's not the point," Lexi-Marie cuts her off. From the sounds in the background, Beth can tell she is going through the drawers of her dressing table.

"How did you get invited anyway?"

"Melissa got invited and told me to come. But you'll be my plus one because you know I hate Melissa."

"So you hate Jenny and Melissa. Why do you want to go, exactly?"

"Don't be so judgmental ," Lexi-Marie sighs. "It's not my fault Melissa always had a crush on John. Proves she has no taste. Who could like my idiot of a brother anyway?" she adds quietly, and Beth rolls her eyes. Lexi never had a healthy relationship with her family. "But it's going to be a cool party, so, _please_ , can we go?"

Beth sighs. "What's in it for me?"

Lexi-Marie giggles. "I know you hate parties, but I'll drive you there and my brother will pick us up afterwards, and it'll be a great night, I promise. We'll have fun without getting too drunk. It's our last summer before college, we should have as much fun as possible. Please, please!" she says everything so quickly Beth wonders how she can breathe in between the words.

"Wait, John's in town?" Beth asks in confusion. "I thought he had decided to avoid this place for the rest of his life."

"Yeah, but it's our aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary this weekend so there'll be this massive family gathering, and mom said if he didn't come back, she would stop sending him money. You know she's _so_ concerned with everyone thinking we have a perfect ass family." Beth can almost _hear_ Lexi-Marie making a face. The one she always makes when she talks about her brother or her mom.

"Alright, but why would he agree to pick us up after a party?"

"You ask too many questions."

"You still haven't answered my question."

Lexi-Marie lets out a heavy sigh. "I had to blackmail him into covering for me with mom for tonight, so I thought I might as well not waste such an opportunity and take as much as I can."

"You're a devil," Beth states, narrowing her eyes.

Lexi giggles with delight. "I know. Now, can we go to this party? _Please_."

Beth rolls her eyes, even though Lexi-Marie can't see her. "Fine."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"I have nothing to wear though…" Beth cuts in.

"Yeah, it's meant to be pretty dressy," she pauses, thinking. "Okay. Come over to my house right now. The witch won't be home 'till later, so don't worry about that. We'll get ready together, and I'll find you something to wear," Beth is about to protest, but Lexi-Marie won't let her. "I'll pick you up in fifteen minutes, be ready."

With that, she hangs up, and Beth is left sitting on the sofa, trying to figure out a plan. She picks up her phone again. She'll need Maggie's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Make sure you check out the full size cover to LWD. It's on my tumblr - _lovewhomyouwill_.
> 
> P.S. I didn't want to make Maggie an obstacle to Beth and Daryl's relationship, simply because I don't believe that her character would anything like that, ever. From what I've seen on the show, Maggie might be bossy, but she values Beth and trusts her judgement. But I don't know. Tell me what you think.


	11. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd be updating more often, so here I am. Not entirely sure about this chapter, even though I found it very easy to write. Massive thanks to my beta because seriously, you should've seen the chapter before she went over it. It was a mess. Thank you, sweety!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and please leave a review, your feedback always motivates me to sit down and write again. Oh, and big thank you to everyone following/favouring/reviewing already. Your support is priceless to me.

"Beth, are you planning on staying in there forever?" Lexi-Marie asks from behind the bathroom door.

"I look ridiculous!" Beth states and folds her arms in an annoyed gesture, even though Lexi can't see her.

"That mirror isn't saying 'My Queen, you are the fairest in the land', you can stop trying."

Beth bursts the door open and stares at Lexi. "Not funny. Just look at me," she throws her hands up in exasperation.

Lexi-Marie tries to hide a smile, but fails, and has to bite her lip to stay calm. "It's not _that_ bad."

Beth storms past her into the bedroom. "I look like a fairy from a Peter Pan musical or something."

"The only thing missing is fluffy slippers," Lexi giggles, shutting the door.

"Ha-ha. This party is a stupid idea and I shouldn't be going anyway," Beth says, sitting down on the bed and folding her arms again.

Lexi rolls her eyes. "Such a killjoy. It's not my fault you're so tiny that only my tenth grade drama costume fits."

Beth's eyes widen in disbelief. "This is a _costume_? Who did you play?"

Lexi averts her gaze and pretends to be too busy blending some more blush onto her cheeks. Even though her makeup has been finished for half an hour. "Well…"

"Lexi."

"It was _Midsummer Night's Dream_ , okay?" she admits.

"No wonder it's so… green and… sparkly," Beth blurts out, staring at the monstrous thing she's wearing. She gets up and tries to unzip the dress from behind. "I am _so_ done with this party."

Worry washes over Lexi-Marie's face, and she takes Beth's hand to stop her from fiddling with the dress. "Please, don't. I spent an hour on your makeup."

"I don't care. I'm not making a fool out of myself," Beth huffs out a breath of annoyance, but lets her arms fall to her sides.

"I'll find you something else to wear, but please, don't cancel," Lexi pleads. Beth stays quiet, staring at her friend in expectation. "Let's think," she makes a few circles around her room, while Beth just stands there, watching her. "I might have an idea," Lexi gives her an ingratiating smile that tells Beth not to expect anything good. "I could look in my mom's wardrobe-"

"No," Beth says immediately.

"You didn't even let me finish!" Lexi-Marie pouts.

"I'm not wearing something your mother confiscated from you because it's probably too… _out there_ ," she finishes, for the lack of better word.

Mrs Harris still tries to control her daughter, despite the fact that Lexi-Marie rarely listens to her opinion. She's been confiscating things that are too extravagant for her liking – to return to the store – ever since Beth and Lexi-Marie have been in middle school.

"There's this dress, and it's _beautiful_. I cut the label off before the witch took it, so she couldn't return it, but she won't let me wear it anyway. You, on the other hand, could…" Lexi trails off.

Beth stays silent.

"Oh, come _on_ , you'll look great! We'll have a lot of fun tonight! _Please_?"

Beth sighs heavily. "Okay."

Lexi-Marie squeals and jumps up and down in delight. "Get out of this ugliness, and I'll go and get the dress for you, okay?"

Beth nods, and her friends disappears, slamming the door loudly after herself. Beth sighs heavily again. This is why she stopped talking to Lexi-Marie two years ago. She's always been to energetic, happy, and optimistic, against all odds. She got beaten by her boyfriend not so long ago, and now she's jumping around and almost singing with happiness. Beth wishes she could be that resilient.

Just as she is about to put on a robe, her phone buzzes on the bed. It requires all of Beth's self-control to stop herself from literally flying towards it. She can't believe it when she sees a text from Daryl.

_How's your schedule for tomorrow?_

Beth feels ridiculous, but she can't hold back a happy laugh that bubbles somewhere in her chest. She giggles and jumps around, just like Lexi did before, and her friend chooses this particular moment to enter the room.

"Wow, you seem happy," she observes as she shuts the door again, holding a white metallic lace dress.

Beth feels blush appear on her cheeks, and hides her phone behind her back. She realizes she probably looks ridiculous, standing in the middle of the room in her bra and underwear with her phone behind her back.

Lexi-Marie takes a quick look at her, and her face lights up with understanding. "Oh, was that your leather-jacket-guy?" she raises a brow mischievously.

Beth rolls her eyes: "For the hundredth time, his name is Daryl. Is that the dress?" she quickly changes the topic.

Lexi-Marie's eyes sparkle with excitement and she almost starts jumping. "Yes. Try this on, you'll look gorgeous in it."

Beth does as she's told, and when Lexi gasps and insists that she has to have a look in a big mirror in the bathroom, Beth rolls her eyes again, but follows her friend down the corridor.

Beth turns around in front of the mirror a few times and smiles. "I have to admit, this does look great."

"Ha! It looks hot, not just great."

"Why did your mom confiscate it anyway?"

"It's cold shoulder dress," Lexi-Marie rolls her eyes and lowers the toilet seat before sitting down on it. "You know she has a problem with girls showing too much shoulder. And she said it's too short anyway."

Beth is about to respond, when she hear a wolf whistle and turns around abruptly to find John standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.

"You look nice, Beth Greene," he says and gives her a creepy smile. This is probably the first time she is bothered by John's company. He's always been weird, but harmless.

Lexi-Marie groans and slaps a hand on her forehead in annoyance. "Why are you perving on us, John?"

"I'm not perving," he says and shrugs. "Wait," he looks at his sister, "isn't this the dress that mom had a fit about a few days ago? Aren't you afraid of another scandal?" he wiggles his eyebrows, and Beth smiles a little easier.

"Shut up, John," Lexi-Marie rolls her eyes at him. "As long as you don't tell her, she won't know."

"You do know she's coming home earlier tonight?" he states, and Beth could have sworn Lexi's face has gone at least five shades lighter.

"What?" she asks.

"She should be back in half-an-hour," John repeats, looking at the watch on his wrist.

"But the party doesn't start until eight!" Lexi-Marie exclaims, and despite being almost indifferent to the whole thing, Beth suddenly feels panic rise in her chest. "We can't show up early, that's totally _un_ cool. We have to be fashionably late!"

"We can't go to my house either because daddy will be there," Beth says, trying to think of what to do.

Lexi-Marie notices an amused smile on John's face and presses fingers to her temples. "Alright, let's think. What can we do? I know!" she shouts, making Beth jump slightly. "We'll leave earlier and just sit at that coffee place in town for an hour."

"What?" Beth asks in disbelief. "That's ridiculous."

"It's the only way."

"Alright," John states. "I'll drive you there."

"We have still have twenty minutes to straighten your hair!" Lexi-Marie states, pointing a finger at Beth, as if it wasn't clear anyway. Beth nods, and her friend immediately disappears to find the straightener.

* * *

They run out of time, and Beth ends up with half her hair straight and other half – curly. Somehow, Lexi-Marie manages to braid Beth's hair in a complicated and elaborate French chain braid (at least that's what she says it's called) in the car on their way to town. John remains quiet while driving, not making any rude or crude comments – that's a first – which Beth very much appreciates. And obviously, so does Lexi because she doesn't call her brother an idiot once in fifteen minutes – almost a record.

"How did you blackmail him into giving us a ride?" Beth whispers to her when John seems busy taking a turn to the highway.

"I said I'd tell mom his girlfriend was just a one-night stand that stayed in his life," she whispers back and giggles.

That part of their relationship Beth can't understand and probably never will. They always say how much they hate each other, but never hide anything from each other. Lexi-Marie doesn't hesitate when confiding in her brother – that Beth knows for sure. But somehow she doesn't have a problem threatening his secrets to their tyrant of a mother. In the years she's known Lexi-Marie and her family, she's learned not to be surprised by such things. Maybe their rivalry is just their way of showing love towards each other.

"Just park next to the diner," Beth proposes as John drives out onto the main street. "There's never any parking space near the coffee shop."

They leave the car and make their way to the coffee place – the only coffee shop in their small town.

"What did you tell your dad?" asks Lexi-Marie. Both siblings look at Beth curiously, waiting for an answer.

"I said I'll be eating out with you," she shrugs. "Looks like I didn't even have to lie."

John laughs and shakes his head, but Lexi-Marie just gives her an understanding smile. She always has to come up with excuses and stories to get out of the house.

The three of them walk into the shop, and take a seat near the big front window to the main street. It's where Beth and Lexi always used to sit when they were freshmen in high school. The place is almost empty at this hour – it closes at eight-thirty – but some people are sitting down, cups of coffee in front of them, and the sound of quiet conversations fills the air. Beth smiles with contentment because this place has a naturally pleasant vibe to it, like you almost want to lie down and take a nap. Comfortable and cozy.

"Good evening, guys," says the waitress as she walks up to their table. "What would you like to order?"

Beth smiles as she makes her order – her long time favourite hot chocolate. The waitress has been working here for years, and she knows everyone who comes in.

"You look very nice, Beth," she says with a big smile, and Beth feels her cheeks turn a darker shade of pink once again tonight.

"Thank you, Mrs Moyler," Beth responds and looks at the table to hide her embarrassment.

"I'll be back with your drinks in a minute," she announces and disappears with the smile that never seems to leave her face.

When Lexi-Marie and John start talking about something and laughing, Beth doesn't listen. She sighs and looks out the window. The street has gotten quiet, almost deserted even. Only Joe's garage, the grocery store, and the pharmacy are still open on the other side of the street, and Beth finds herself wondering what Daryl is doing right now. She then remembers it's been almost an hour, and she still hasn't replied to his text. That makes her heart jump, and the feeling of panic starts growing in her chest. She grabs her phone and is about to type up the response, when she suddenly feels the urge to raise her head to look out.

Beth notices Daryl leaving the pharmacy and starting to cross the road, obviously heading to the diner's parking lot. She almost slams her phone on the table, making Lexi-Marie jump.

"Jeez, Beth," she says and frowns. "What's gotten into you?"

"I have to…" Beth stutters, not knowing how much she can say in front of John. "I'll be back."

Lexi turns to look out the window, and her eyes light up with understanding and excitement. "Oh, alright."

Just as Beth leaves the coffee shop, she hears Lexi-Marie saying, "It's her boyfriend," to John.

She has to force herself not to run – just to make sure she doesn't look ridiculous _or_ desperate – and soon she only has to say his name to draw his attention. They stop in front of the barber's shop that is just next to the diner (she feels like so much in her life has been happening at the diner lately).

"Hi," Beth says, a little out of breath, and gives Daryl a smile. She puts her braid over her shoulder.

"You look…" he trails off and pauses, obviously struggling to come up with the correct word.

"Different?" she offers, and her smile grows wider.

"That, and also pretty." Daryl puts his hands in his jeans' pockets and look down to the ground awkwardly.

"I didn't respond," she states the obvious, but feeling like she needs to explain. Maybe that can ease some tension that is almost tangible between them. "Lexi was doing this," she gestures, "to me."

"Alright," he nods. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, it's just… She's forcing me to go to this party…"

"Forcing you?" Daryl raises an eyebrow with an amused smile.

"Well, not really _forcing_ , I sort of… let her do it," Beth explains. "And her mom is back from work early tonight, so we have to wait in town. You know, you can't show up to a party early. That's not cool by high school standards," she notices that she's mumbling, but it seems _so_ hard to stop when she's around Daryl. Everything about him makes her feel nervous.

Daryl seems to notice that too, and clears his throat. "So, how's your schedule?"

Beth suddenly looks at his lips and is stricken with the memory from hours earlier. The diner's parking lot, his warm embrace – so warm – and his lips on hers. Just thinking about that makes Beth feel hot, even though the temperature has gone down since it's gotten closer to the evening.

She realizes she's been quiet for a while and hasn't answered his question, so now it's her turn to look down with embarrassment, just to maybe hide her blush (probably unsuccessfully).

"Well, I've got this party tonight, and I can't do anything tomorrow because it's my sister's boyfriend's birthday, and she'll want me around all day."

"You seem pretty busy," he observes.

"Yes, but it's just the last couple of days," Beth smiles. "Usually I'm always at the farm."

She realizes – probably too late – that it's not something you're supposed to tell a guy. Maggie always says that she needs to appear busy, like she's making an effort just by having time to talk to him. Maybe that's why Maggie always has a bright and interesting personal life – she usually knows what to say and what to do. Beth usually makes an idiot out of herself.

But Daryl smiles in response, like maybe he actually likes that she's not one of those constantly preoccupied girls. Or that she doesn't _try_ to seem like one. Beth isn't sure.

"You ain't babysitting Judith or anything?"

"No, I haven't spoken to Rick since Carl's birthday party. Are they alright?"

"Yeah, they're fine. Their family seems to be mending. Slowly-"

"But steadily," Beth finishes for him, and both of them smile. "So, the day after tomorrow will do. What do you have in mind?"

"Ain't gonna tell you everything, girl," he says in such a tone that makes Beth's grin grow even wider. She notices she smiles a lot when she's around him.

He seems to have gotten a sudden idea because he smiles softly and takes her hand, pulling her away from the street, into the space between the barber's shop and the diner. A _tiny_ space.

"Daryl?" she asks with a small frown.

He lifts his hand and brushes away a strand of hair that has fallen out of her braid. His touch is so gentle that Beth's heart makes a flip in her chest, and breathing becomes difficult.

Their lips meet in such a sweet and delicate kiss that Beth once again feels almost light-headed. She wraps her arms around his neck and presses herself closer to Daryl, even though there wasn't much space between them to start with. His hand on her face almost burns her cheek, and his lips are fire.

When they part, she's panting and looking him in the eyes, surprised he initiated the kiss. Surprised, but so, _so_ happy. She doesn't know what gave him courage, but hopes this isn't the only time this is going to happen.

There is this sudden feeling of insecurity that worms its way into her head. What if he only wanted to kiss her because she looks prettier than usual? Then, is it just her appearance that he's interested in? She had enough of that in high school, when guys would ask her out on dates, but only stare at her lips the whole time, instead of listening to what she was saying, or trying to talk about things she wasn't comfortable discussing. Maggie always says that if a guy doesn't listen or tries to change topics constantly, then he isn't interested in her personality, just looks. What if that's what Daryl wants from her?

Or maybe, he's just shy and didn't know he was allowed to kiss her until she initiated it this morning. And now he knows that not only she won't mind, she'll encourage it enthusiastically. _Yes, it's probably that,_ she thinks and tries to forget about the whole thing.

They kiss a few more times, and by that point, Beth can't even tell how much time has passed. It could've been minutes or hours.

"I should go," Beth says, pulling away from him as her heart aches from the thought their moment together is almost over. "Lexi-Marie's waiting for me."

"Alright," he responds, but leans in to kiss her one last time, and Beth giggles with delight. "Have fun at the party. And let me know if you need anything."

"Okay. I'll see you soon," she says and, as they walk in opposite directions, she turns around a few times to find him turning to look at her too.

When she enters the coffee shops, John lets out a low whistle. "Someone's happy."

Lexi-Marie nudges him with an elbow. "Of course she is, she just saw her _boyfriend_."

Beth takes a seat at the table, feeling her cheeks turning pink. "He isn't my boyfriend," she denies defiantly. Even though it seems pretty stupid.

"Yet," Lexi adds, and Beth simply rolls her eyes as she starts sipping her already cold hot chocolate.

* * *

She can't remember ever being so drunk before.

Not that she's ever been drunk, anyway. Unless you count that one time… But no, she's pretty sure that time she and Maggie tried some weird punch at one of Maggie's friends' party doesn't count. This one certainly does.

But she isn't ridiculously drunk – not the kind when you can't walk or even stay standing – it's just that she feels a little hazy and slightly sick somewhere in her stomach. Still, this is the most drunk she's ever gotten.

It's all Lexi's fault, Beth decides as she takes careful steps down the stairs, having just gone to the bathroom. If she hadn't said something like, " _Stop being such a killjoy_ " or " _Come on, Beth, let's have fun_ ", Beth would never have let her friend convince her to play "Never Have I Ever". Such a stupid game, anyway. And everyone was awful, coming up with the things she's done suspiciously masterfully. At least that's what it seemed like before her third drink. After that… she can't remember _that_ well.

Beth walks over to the sofa, where Jenny – the host – is standing, a drink in her hand. Beth is pretty sure if she as much as thinks about drinking again, she might puke.

"Hey, Beth! Are you alright?" Jenny asks, suddenly being _so_ nice. And sober. How do people manage to do that? Because Beth is positive she saw Jenny downing at least five drinks.

"Where's Lexi-Marie?" Beth feels desperate to leave and finally go to bed. She feels ridiculously tired.

"She's upstairs, sleeping. Why? Do you need something?" Jenny asks, her brows knitting in concern. Maybe she's not such a terrible person and actually feels responsible for people that have gotten drunk at her party.

"No, I'm fine. I'll just go sit outside for a minute," Beth says her, her tongue feeling somewhat numb, and gestures towards the corridor that leads to the front door.

"Okay, let me know if there's something you need," Jenny smiles at her as Beth walks away.

The outside is quiet and chilly. She sits down on the swing of the huge porch and sways a few times before realizing that only makes her feel sick. She is _so_ tired. Why did she agree to go to this party anyway? She never found parties like this fun, and hasn't changed her opinion tonight. It seems like these things are just an excuse that teenagers use to get away from their parents' control and get drunk. Which is exactly what she's done. She is no better.

Beth leans to her side and, even though it's extremely uncomfortable on the porch swing, she relaxes a little. She doesn't know what to do. Lexi's asleep, so John won't be able to take them both to her house. She can't exactly go home because daddy will ground her forever if he sees her in such condition.

There's Daryl. And he told her to let him know if she needs anything. Obviously, not meaning, _call me at one in the morning_ , but what else can she do? She sighs and fumbles for her phone.

"Hello?" he says, his voice sleepy. She needs to stop waking him up in the middle of the night like this. She gathers all the courage she can find and promises herself this will be the last time.

"Hi, Daryl, it's me," she says, stating the obvious.

"Beth," he repeats, "is everything okay?"

She stays silent for a moment. "Yes. No. I don't know," she says, feeling like an idiot.

"Are you drunk?" he asks, and Beth suddenly feels ashamed. This isn't like her.

"Probably."

"Where are you?" If Beth hadn't been drunk, she would've been touched by the fact that his voice was already filled with worry.

"I'm still at that damn party."

"You want me to pick you up?" he asks, and Beth almost wants to cry with relief that she doesn't have to ask him to do it. Even though she kind of did when she called him at one in the morning.

"You don't have to…" she pauses, hoping he understands that she hates constantly forcing him to help her, "…but that would be nice."

"Alright. Stay where you are, I'll come get ya," he promises.

"I'll text you the address."

"See you in a bit," Daryl says and hangs up.

Beth gets up to go back inside and ask Jenny her exact address. And also, ask her to take care of Lexi-Marie, make sure she's safe. Jenny promises to do that as she types the address so that Beth can send it to Daryl, and Beth finds herself wondering why hating each other in high school was even a thing.

After that, she goes back outside and sits on the porch steps, leaning her head against the railing. She feels exhausted and decides to close her eyes. But only for a second.

* * *

Beth wakes up feeling weird. She feels light, like she's hanging in the air. And there's this familiar smell of detergent, but also smoke and what she can only classify as forest. The kind of smell that reminds her of camping in middle school. The memories of the night come back, flooding her head, and she tries to open her eyes.

"Daryl?" she asks, but it comes out as a whine.

"Shh, it's me," Beth hears his voice that is soft but gruff at the same time. She never understood how he could sound so gentle and… rough. Two complete opposites, but so masterfully blended in him. Well, she didn't always use to wonder. Although she's only gotten to know him in the last month or so, it feels like he's been in her life forever. And she wishes it was like that.

She feels something soft and realizes Daryl put her in his car. She tries to open her eyes again, but her eyelids feel so heavy that she gives up and just adjusts her position to a more comfortable one.

The door slams shut on the driver's side.

"I can't go home," she whines before he has the time to start the engine. "Daddy'll kill me."

"Alright," Daryl says, "don't worry about it. Just sleep."

Beth goes quiet and turns her head a little, returning to the sweet and warm feeling of the healing sleep. The next thing she feels is being lowered down onto something soft, her shoes are taken off (she tries to sit up and take them off herself, but Daryl stops her), and then there's a warm duvet and a pillow that smells like Daryl.

Her thoughts keep returning to Daryl what feels like every second, and when she hears the door creak open, she is pretty sure she calls his name. At least, that's what she intends to do.

"Don't go," she remembers saying next, and then resting her head on his shoulder. It feels so comfortable that she almost goes back to sleep, when one question pops into her head, and she knows she can't sleep unless she finds out. "Daryl?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd kiss me?"

"You mean today?" he asks, obviously confused.

"Tonight. When I saw you on the street."

" 'Cause I wanted to," Daryl says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and Beth frowns. She then feels his lips on her forehead and relaxes. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. We'll talk tomorrow."

She thinks that's the best idea in the world and with that, stops fighting sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please remember to review!
> 
> P.S. Check out the story's cover on my tumblr - lovewhomyouwill.


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